"DO you know how oysters do it?" asked a robust and bright-eyed Bill Marinelli cheekily. Aren’t these mollusks with two irregularly shaped shells hinged together, harbouring a soft body which occur on the bottom of ships or adhering to rocks or other objects in shallow water, hermaphroditic?

Marinelli nodded and smiled, probably thinking: “Another ignoramus I must deal with!”

Since the early 1990s, Marinelli has been known as the “Oyster King”. Apparently, it was a term coined in Hong Kong which has stuck till today.

It is not strange since he is the undisputed expert on oysters, having personally introduced many now famous oysters such as the Kumamoto, Hog Island, Olympia, Hama Hama, Barron Point and Westcott Flat globally.

He treats and farms oysters with the same attention and respect given to wines and grapevines.

“I grew up on wine, ever since I was 12 years old. Oysters have similar complexities as wine,” he said.

Believe me, a truer sentiment has never been uttered. Do note that we are talking about live, fresh oysters.

“Yes, they are alive. Not the frozen ones that you find in buffets,” Marinelli added.

Now, getting back to the mating rituals of oysters, Marinelli has this explanation: “Oysters are hermaphroditic, changing sex many times in their life cycle which can last up to 20 years. During periods of warm water, the oysters are triggered into the production of gonad (an ovary or testis) to get ready for spawning.

“For the other months of the year, the oysters are mainly glycogen based (vegetable starch) which is what makes them so sweet.

“When the oysters go into the spawning cycle, they are considered ‘out of season’ as the gonads are protein-based. The ‘spawny’ oysters have a different texture and flavour than when they are ‘in season’.

“Once the oysters have fully transformed into a mass of gonad, they release their spawn into the water. The females release millions of eggs and the boys do it with billions of sperm.”

Now the question is, how do you know which the boy and which is the girl?

Hmmm, the girls have pink ribbons around their shells?

Marinelli’s generous laugh escaped his mouth. “The boys, or males, snap their shells. Pap, pap, pap, pap, real quick like and then squirt out sperm into the water. Whereas the females, ever so gently, open their shells and clouds of eggs come out.”

The coolest part, according to Marinelli, is that the oysters, divided up primarily into two different genuses of Crassostrea and Ostrea, do it opposite from each other.

“Crassostrea do it like most other bivalves. The fertilisation takes place in the water, making the entire process asexual. The oysters then grow up on their own, using the minerals and microscopic algae to grow and thrive.

“Ostrea, on the other hand, are sexy critters. The females don’t release their brood into the surrounding sea but suck in sperm and the fertilisation takes place entirely inside the shell of the mom.

“Mummy then looks after her young for about a month before she kicks them out, leaving them to fend for themselves.”

Marinelli’s company is now the largest distributor of half shell oysters and carries the largest variety of oysters of more than 30.

With the amount of oysters we eat, aren’t they becoming extinct?

“We’re losing indigenous species due to not farming oysters like Northern Japanese oysters or Gigas, the most common one consumed here,” he replied.

Just how do farmed and non-farmed oysters differ in flavours?

“When you farm them in their natural environment, you are harvesting Mother Nature’s resources.

“What we do is make it easier for them to survive. For instance, we make dykes to keep control tides and nets to keep starfish and crabs at bay. Farming them in their natural environment, they drink and eat what they would normally drink and eat,” he explained.

Thereby denoting or reflecting the special characteristics that geography bestowed upon them. Or terroir.

“If you, for instance, try the Portuguese oysters, you will be drinking from San Juan waters. They come from waters you can drink, waters that are certified by the state as safe drinking water.”

The only way to tell the difference physically is through their shell appearance.

The farmed ones are spoilt princes with pretty, intact but brittle shells.

“This is because they do not tumble around with the tides, for instance. The non-farmed oysters have hard, grotty and chipped shells.”

Marinelli’s here only until tomorrow before he flies off to either home to Bangkok or another emerging food market that requires introduction to the varieties of oysters.

For now, he can be found cracking the five types of fresh and alive oysters he has brought over at Imperial Hotel’s Essence restaurant on Jalan Sultan Ismail in Kuala Lumpur.

Although Bill’s oyster bar is part of their daily buffet dinner for now, it is on only until tomorrow when he leaves.

You’d be able to experience Calm Cove, Hog Island Virginica, Westcott Bay Portuguese, Otter Cove and Eld Inlet oysters.

A small note (based on my own experience). I do not like raw oysters due to a bad experience. First know that normally, frozen oysters are served in buffets. This is because of the cost issue. “It is labour intensive,” reasoned Marinelli with a small shrug of his broad shoulders.

“Eating bad oysters is a horrible experience, one you can never forget. A fresh one should not smell at all. It is juicy, moist and when you touch it on the side, it moves,” he explained.

Ah, but the fresh ones do have a smell. They smell of the salty sea air. They should remind one of cold beaches during winter. Well, they did for me! What does the scent remind you of? Let me know, won’t you?

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HERE is Bill Marinelli’s advice on oyster-tasting. It’s based on three principles, namely:

Saltiness. “Every specie has different levels of salt since every growing area will have a different influence on the amount of salt in an oyster. Those from cold growing waters tend to be saltier than those from warm growing waters.”

Texture. “You should chew before swallowing. Japanese oysters, for instance, tend to be plump and fatty, While European ones tend to be firm and crunchy.”

Aftertaste or finish. It could be a fruity finish of watermelon, cucumber or red paprika (like the Japanese ones) or smoky and nutty.

For me, the Westcott Bay Portuguese was a good blend of complexities. It helped erase my trauma with the bad oyster.

It was firm in texture, a balance of sweet and salty and has a pleasant mineral finish.

Basically, as Bill said, “it should taste good. Your senses will know when something tastes good.”

And when they are good, all you need is just a drop of lemon juice!