I didn't realise I had this ritual till I was talking to a friend the other day while we were both walking out of the office. She immediately untied her hair and let it loose, remarking at the same time that this was her end-of-the-day ritual. We were on the way to dinner, so she said she couldn't do one more thing -- take off her watch!
That was when it came to me: we all have these rituals even though we may not have formalised those little things we do as such. I started asking around and found quite a few interesting ones: a drink of water (even the person who does this has no idea why); empty pockets; have a beer; melt into the sofa and so on.
I think all this has to do with a need to differentiate the work self from the home self. Home is a sanctuary so you do not need your "armour" or "talismans" to protect you. While we are no longer required to hunt for our survival, we do still need to "fight" in order to get ahead or make our way in the world.
Little wonder that those of us who have to travel a lot in the course of our work are often referred to as road warriors. So it stands to reason that we arm ourselves with certain things to ensure the road ahead is smooth.
I look at my watch and the various baubles I like wearing and smile to think these are my "talismans". How strange. By themselves, these things have no power; the watch helps me to tell the time and the accessories please me. That's it. Yet, I wear the watch out of habit.
These days, you can tell the time in so many different ways -- handphone, computer, car dashboard. Yet, have you noticed that there are very few people who do not wear a watch?
When I think about it, these things -- my "talismans" -- make me feel like I am ready for the day. Yes, it is all very psychological. Before I leave for work every morning, I put them on and I am good to go. Simple.
A guy I know has a beginning-of-day ritual which involves this mantra: wallet, phone, keys. He repeats this to himself every morning as he goes out the door -- while making sure he has all these three things with him.
At the end of the day, all three things get dumped on a side table in the living room. Yes, his end-of-day ritual involves emptying his pockets. He laughed when we were talking about it because unlike me, he has long referred to this as his "ritual".
In his case, his "talismans" are all useful things. Wallet, phone, keys. They are more tools than "talismans" so in this sense they are practical "talismans", he explained. How interesting that we each have some sort of psychological "weapons" to help us get by, even if some of these are entirely utilitarian.
I think it doesn't even matter if you have a job outside of the home or not. Chances are, you will have a beginning-of-day and end-of-day ritual. My grandmother never held a job in her life but she worked at looking after my family: she cooked, looked after all four of us when we were kids, etc.
Her beginning-of-day ritual involved making a big pot of thick, black coffee. This was the real stuff, not the filtered coffee most people drink these days. The coffee grains would still be in it and she would drink it black and sweet. By mid-morning, any left over went into the fridge and iced coffee in the afternoon would be her treat.
And how did she mark the end of the day? She listened to the radio. Ghost stories, the retelling of ancient Chinese folk tales, comedy shows. When I was little, I remember sharing this ritual with her and marvelling at the stories those unseen voices could spin.
A friend of mine -- a freelance writer -- tells about the difficulty she had in the early days of her stay-at-home career.
"It was quite difficult -- psychologically -- making that transition from going to the office every day to staying at home and working," she said.
"I didn't have to get dressed. I could just sit around all day in my pyjamas and write... nobody would know or care."
Without something ritualistic to demarcate her day, she felt her "working hours" were stretched out and endless. So she decided to take control of the situation and set up a small office in one bedroom in the house. In here would be the computer, fax and other work paraphernalia.
Each morning, she would get dressed -- her beginning-of-day ritual -- and "go" to work. At the end of the day, she would shut the door of her "office" -- her end-of-day ritual -- and "come home".
We all have our own rituals, our own way to end the day and whether we know it or not, these are necessary markers. These things we do help us unwind so we can rest and get ready for the next day.
My favourite end-of-day ritual story? That involves my colleague Jin walking into my room at the office and saying, "Happy hour!" It's his way of telling me to call it a day and whether we do end up getting a drink or not, it is indeed a happy hour.
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