After three days of melodramatic dissidence between MP for Puchong Gobind Singh Deo and Speaker Tan Sri Pandikar Amin Mulia that fixated the easily excitable MPs, the House may have been “converted” into a soundstage for the set of Law & Order: Dewan Rakyat for a fourth scintillating day of juicy squabbles but it was not to be. And for good reason.

The excitement today throbbed outside the confines of Parliament House, hijacked into the realm of the national political psyche by that master impresario himself, Anwar Ibrahim. He held court at the PKR HQ, surrounded by officials, supporters, loyalists and supplicants, in revealing a private investigator’s statutory declaration that contained incendiary revelations on the state of the political domain, which Anwar claims, is reeling from crises of confidence, inflationary worries, party in-fighting, leadership and anything that could swing public perception to back his bid for the Premiership.

Back to the House, the routine and the prosaic was reinstalled, until Mahfuz Omar (Pas-Pokok Sena), at the tail end of his colourful description of all things inadequate and hopeless about the Mid-Term Review, interpolated the very thing that Anwar was creaming elsewhere for all its worth.

Perhaps it was the titillating nature of the subject or its graphic debauchery, but Deputy Speaker Datuk Wan Junaidi Tunku Jaafar somehow didn’t spring into action to defuse Mahfuz from heckling away, seeing that the topic had detoured from anything resembling a Mid-Term Review thing. And surprisingly, neither did the BN backbenchers howl in protest.

So Mahfuz had a free run until Wan Junaidi decided to halt the Pas information chief, on the account that his 20-minute Hyde Park-styled rap was up. That didn’t matter. Mahfuz bulldozed his way to mouth off more of the statutory declaration contents, ignoring twice warnings from the Deputy Speaker and a snipe from Ibrahim Ali (IND).
Nobody always knew the stance or direction the irascible Ibrahim would take in his intercalation of debates, especially those between the Government and the Opposition, but in this case, he came to the rescue of the people implicated in the statutory declarations. “It’s only a statutory declaration. Don’t ‘fitnah’,” was his succinct snipe.

When Mahfuz began to break away like a runaway train, Wan Junaidi had had enough. He muted Mahfuz’s microphone while the Pokok Sena MP yapped his way into a state of audibility only the MPs surrounding him could make out. Realising that his microphone was silenced, Mahfuz stopped talking and sat down with a sheepishly satisfied look.

But by taking away sensationalism out of the debates, the extraordinarily ordinary came in its place to allow lesser known MPs the chance to take centrestage and argue economic points of the MTR. Loke Siew Fook (DAP-Rasah) must have burnt many midnight oils to bring forth his legwork but it didn’t court controversy until he impregnated his speech with the charge that Umno committed the folly of eroding Malay trust with the inept implementation of the New Economic Policy.

Loke’s charge throttled the perennially choleric interjector Datuk Tajuddin Rahman to blast back, sans Speaker permission as always, as he accused Loke of egging away Malay fortitude, pride and rights with the DAP’s known disavowal of the NEP. Loke refused to back down, insisting that the DAP respected the NEP’s policy of raising the socio-economic status of “poor Malays and bumiputeras”, just as long as it wasn’t done the Umno way. Tajuddin laughed off Loke’s stance, scorning it as “insincere” but the argument lapsed there and then.

But there was another salient point Loke raised that subtly hit the nerve of the national psyche – the inability to maintain punctuality. He complained that the public transport the Government built was fine for its engineering marvels, especially the train services between Seremban and Kuala Lumpur, but he could not stand its continual delays, unlike the services in other developed countries where the train arrives “not a minute early and not a minute late.” That’s hitting the nail on the head for tardy Malaysians’ fondness for flagrant time keeping.

Loke proposed that the transport authorities hire a German consultant to work out the snags in six months to flush the public transport inefficiencies out of its drowsiness. “If the German fails in six months, then you can sack him and if you continue to fail to improve the system, then the Transport Minister should resign or be sacked,” he said.

It was a golden moment for Raime Unggi (BN-Tenom) to highlight the plight of his home state Sabah for the inequalities and neglect it suffered for decades but he decided to use it on a national issue – the Olympics, specifically questioning why the Government should award RM1 million each to Malaysian athletes who score a gold medal in next month’s Beijing Olympics.

“This would only produce materialistic athletes who no longer strive to win medals for the sake of the country,” he reckoned. “The original intention of international sports meets, including the Olympics, is to produce athletes who bring glory to the country they represent.”

Raime argued that the huge incentive may pamper the victorious athlete and let slip a dip in form. Instead of cash, it was better to send the promising athletes for overseas training. Raime’s visionary foresight is praiseworthy only for his confidence that long before it becomes moot, a Malaysian athlete can actually win an Olympic gold medal!

If a Malaysian athlete could actually WIN a gold medal, then he or she deserves the avalanche of accolades in profitable or glorious terms. He or she should also be made Prime Minister for a day as the ultimate reward and sign legal decrees or award contracts for projects of whatever his or her heart desires.

Win it first, in any way possible or at any sacrificial cost, then let’s talk about being pampered into becoming materialistic morons.