Breaking up is hard but...

2009/06/25

SUZIEANA UDA NAGU

A psychologist tells SUZIEANA UDA NAGU what two parties can learn from reuniting after an allegedly violent break-up.

WHILE fans across the globe are still trying to make sense of what took place on the eve of the 50th Annual Grammy Awards between celebrity couple Rihanna and Chris Brown, they are shocked by the news that the love birds have reconciled during a recent holiday in Miami, the United States.

Sources close to the stars revealed that Brown, 19, phoned Rihanna, 21, to wish her happy birthday and that may have prompted the couple to discuss their relationship after the alleged attack.

Brown was accused of striking Rihanna after an argument with the Barbadian singer following a party on Feb 7.

The two R&B stars caused a stir recently after dropping out of the Grammy’s performance list at the last minute. It was later confirmed that Rihanna’s concert due on Feb 13 in Kuala Lumpur was postponed.

E! News reported that Brown’s lawyers were in talks with the Los Angeles district attorney’s office about a possible plea deal that would see him in probation rather than in jail for the alleged assault.

On Thursday, LA Superior Court judge agreed to postpone Brown’s arraignment on felony charges until April 6.

He faces a maximum sentence of 56 months in prison if convicted on counts of assault with force likely to produce great bodily injury and making criminal threats (correct at Press time).

Rihanna has declined court protection as “she is doing well”.

While Brown’s fate hangs in the balance, he is out and about and apparently back in the studio to record new songs.

“While (Brown) is reflective and saddened by what (had) happened, he’s happy with the woman he loves,” says a source.

Some fans took the news positively. They saw it as a start of a happier chapter in the lives of the famous young lovers.

However, concerned members of the public are dismayed, especially after having viewed the leaked image of a woman with facial welts and bruises, purportedly “a badly injured Rihanna”.

The mugshot showed a young woman with contusions on her forehead and a cut lip.

Advocates for battered women understandably find Brown’s remorse (expressed through a statement — “Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired” — issued through his publicist) hard to swallow.

Recent events undoubtedly affect public opinion of Brown, who has lost many of his endorsement deals, says Sunway University College psychologist Dr S. Priyadarshini.

“When you’re in the limelight, it may be difficult to regain public’s trust (when that trust has been betrayed),” adds the organisational psychologist, who regularly works with teens and young adults in personal development.

She feels fans should not be so quick to dismiss the singer who, prior to the pre-Grammy incident, had a squeaky clean image.

The couple reconciling is not necessarily bad news, says Priyadarshini.

“It depends on how much each of them values their relationship. Most would advise that a woman break off a life-threatening relationship. But two emotionally stable individuals should be able to make the union work.”

Priyadarshini thinks that Brown should not be written off as an abuser because of his childhood.

“He may have witnessed his own mother being abused as a child but that doesn’t make him more prone to aggression in his adult life. Apart from a traumatic past, there are other contributing factors such as personality and peer pressure.”

In his press statement, Brown also said that he is “seeking counselling from (his) pastor, mother and loved ones. And I’m committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person”.

It is still not too late for Brown to redeem himself, as long as it is intrinsically motivated.

“No amount of counselling will help if it does not come from his initiative,” adds Priyadarshini.