Cover Story: Walking tall

2009/07/28

MEERA MURUGESAN

Most of them may not be able to walk, but they hold their heads up high. MEERA MURUGESAN speaks to four disabled persons about starting over. WHEELCHAIR-bound she may be, but it’s her infectious smile and open, friendly face that people first notice when they meet Bathmavathi Krishnan.

In fact, her positive attitude belies the fact that she has experienced personal tragedy.

But as someone who once spent her life as an able-bodied person, Bathmavathi understands only too well the hurt and pain of losing the ability to walk, the one thing many of us take for granted.

When she was just weeks away from turning 21 and her life seemed full of possibilities, Bathmavathi had to face the fact that the rest of her days would be spent in a wheelchair.

Some people never recover from such a blow but for Bathmavathi, it was the start of a courageous journey to regain her life.

Ibrahim has regained the stability in life that the accident almost took from him.

Bathmavathi, now a retired librarian, was a second-year undergraduate in Universiti Malaya when an accident left her permanently disabled in 1975.

A campus bus driver lost control of his vehicle and slammed directly into her and a few other students waiting on the pavement.

Bathmavathi, an active sportswoman, was dragged under the vehicle, and suffered severe injuries. The news that she was paralysed soon followed.

She spent her 21st birthday in hospital, having only one wish when she blew the candles on her cake — that she would walk out of the ward on her own.

Her wish didn’t come true. Instead, what followed was the most emotionally and physically challenging period of her life.

“Sleep was the only escape I had from the reality that I would never walk again but I tried to be brave for the sake of my family who were devastated by what had happened.”

Eight months in hospital and intensive physiotherapy followed, and Bathmavathi eventually regained her strength to move back into campus and resume her studies.

But going back to familiar haunts in a wheelchair proved very emotional. Just looking at the pavement where she once walked brought tears to her eyes.

Two years after her accident, the death of her mother left her severely depressed and she contemplated suicide. It was only the thought of the hurt she would cause her siblings which stopped her from ending her life.

Still in pain and unable to sit up for longer than two hours at a time, Bathmavathi prepared for lectures and exams, and eventually graduated. She also learned to drive using a modified vehicle and was eventually offered a job at the Universiti Malaya library. She opted for retirement in 2004.

Bathmavathi has overcome personal tragedy to lead a fulfilling life.

These days she keeps busy as President of the Association of Women with Disabilities Malaysia. She also writes for a magazine which focuses on disability-related issues and is a member of Toastmasters.

“God gave me a second chance after that accident and I’m grateful. I still remember what it’s like to walk though, to feel dew on the grass and soft sand on the beach. Those memories, no one can take from me.”

Ibrahim Surin also understands the challenge of starting life from scratch after a tragedy.

In 1990, aged 20, when he was on his way to work on a motorcycle, he was hit from the rear in an accident that caused him to slam directly into a tree. Ibrahim was in a coma for two weeks and spent seven months in hospital, six of them, completely bedridden.

Devastated by the news that he would never walk again, Ibrahim became severely depressed and for four years, remained at home, avoiding contact with people and losing touch with all of his friends.

“At 20, all I could think of were the things I would never be able to do. I couldn’t accept the turn my life had taken.”

His family members never gave up on him and were extremely patient when he was gripped by anger or frustration over his condition.

Ibrahim’s concern was that he would never be able to work and support his parents but when he was eventually offered a job as a clerk with a leading accounting firm, his confidence slowly took root again.

He has been working with the firm for 15 years and today, has found the stability that he once sought in life but thought would never be possible after the accident.

“I thought people would never be able to see beyond my disability but that isn’t true. It wasn’t an easy journey but I learned to put my life back on track again.”

V. Murugeswaran was a young man when a motorcycle accident in 1988 left him wheelchair-bound.

Initially, he refused to accept his condition and was hoping against hope that doctors would be able to do something to help him walk again.

When he was eventually moved to a ward for patients with spinal injuries, the reality of his situation hit home hard.

“I saw the wheelchairs and thought to myself, this is not the life I want. My world is different. I don’t want to be a part of this world.”

Murugeswaran, whose father died when he was 14, had always worked to support himself, even as a schoolboy, but now faced the prospect of being dependent on others. A job offer from a group of friends brought a ray of hope. That, and the fact that he learnt to drive and was soon mobile.

For the first time since the accident, he felt confident that he could be gainfully employed.

He eventually got another job as a telephone operator at a trading company, convincing the management to take him on despite the fact that they were looking for a female employee and did not have a disable-friendly environment.

He remained there for 15 years, getting promoted along the way and picking up invaluable computer knowledge.

He also found time to become an advocate for the rights of the disabled and is one of the founding members of the Damai Disabled Persons Association of Selangor & Wilayah Persekutuan.

Now working as a customer care coordinator and recently married, Murugeswaran has much to look forward to.

“I couldn’t see it then, but the accident was an opportunity not just to make changes in my own life but in the lives of others as well. Through Damai I have had the opportunity to impact the lives of other disabled people in a positive way.”

For Jackie Ng, it wasn’t an accident but illness which robbed her of life as she knew it.

She was 32 and working as a buyer for a large departmental store when she started having headaches which became increasingly severe.

A scan revealed a tumour in her brain and in 1998 Ng underwent surgery to correct the condition. But a recurrence of the problem in 2000 and eventually a seizure left her paralysed on the right side.

Her condition completely changed her once active life. She went from being a young working woman with career goals to someone who struggled just to take a step.

Ng too sunk into depression and for almost four years became reclusive and withdrawn.

“Like anyone else, I asked why me? I hadn’t committed a crime or murdered anyone, so why did this happen to me?”

But towards the end of 2005, Ng came to a realisation. She faced up to the fact that she had many years ahead of her and she didn’t want to spend them in isolation.

After intensive physiotherapy, Ng regained the use of her right hand but her right leg remains affected.

Her family rallied around her and Ng drew strength from their love and support. Her life still revolves around physiotherapy and exercises to strengthen her muscles but Ng now also works from home doing translation work and gives tuition as well.

She can now walk with the aid of a walker, though a wheelchair is still necessary when she goes out to places such as shopping complexes.

Although Ng would love to drive her own car and be completely independent, the fact that she suffers from fits has made that goal impossible.

But she rarely lets anything lower her spirits these days. She has come too far and struggled too much to let anything bring her down. Her illness awakened her to the fact that she has a fighting spirit.

“I believe people now when they say when one door closes, another opens.”

Murugeswaran has changed not only his life but that of other disabled people.