Betrayed by friends

Q. Why do friendships expire? Friends are supposed to nurture us and want the best for us but why do some friends betray us after all those years and sharing all those precious moments? It really hurts.

A. Is there unresolved conflict between you and these persons? Betrayal may occur as a way to retaliate… you know, tit for tat. This is usually the case when the other party suffers low self-esteem or feels rivalry between both of you. The reason to hurt you is their roundabout way to demand that you value them appropriately.

Think back. What is it about you or your success that could’ve stirred up their need to make you feel bad? Do they feel so threatened by you that they need to criticise you and devalue your accomplishments, so that you’d feel as low as they? Change can also cause people to feel abandoned and bitter. You may have moved, made new friends or had a promotion — who knows what makes people feel threatened? I’d deal with my own feelings rather than confront these persons. I’d put it down as issues belonging to them and not make it about me. I’d work on my sense of truth, integrity and authenticity in dealing with my hurt. I’d learn to look for signs of trustworthiness and pay more attention to my instincts about whether someone is deserving of my friendship or not.