Influence, persuasion and negotiation

GEORGE W. Bush said: “I’m the decider.” He also said “the vast majority of our imports come from outside the country”, “it’s important for folks to understand… when there’s more trade, there’s more commerce” and that “one year ago today, the time for excuse-making has come to an end.”

Poor Bush. He’s been the butt of jokes since he became America’s 43rd president. Apparently his gaffes haven’t stopped. Recently, when commenting on the impeachment of Pervez Musharraf, all he could offer was “Err, err, err… the President” when trying to remember the General’s name!

Do you think it’s fair to say that the quality of our communication represents the quality of our person? Is it right to benchmark one’s credibility against a track record of performance and the simple proof of whether the person knows what they’re talking about, or not?

Stupefied, disoriented and exhausted from managing the change forced upon me by my divorce and having to rebuild my career, my life, after 25 years of partnership with the man I loved... fighting, determined to keep my family together no matter what, it then became crystal clear to me what skills are needed to survive and thrive in times of turbulence, hardship and uncertainty.

Since then it has become my personal mission to inspire courage, confidence and freedom so we live our best life – where we’re in control of our own meanings, needs, wants, and desires – prerequisites of a happy life.

From my experience, the more authentic I am, the more effective I can be. I think if my audience knows me, they can then decide if they will trust me. Trust builds credibility. So I believe authenticity, trust and credibility are essential for anyone wanting to lead and influence.

Having worked and lived with a marketing-branding guru for so many years, I’ve learned how powerful effective communication can be. I believe the main reason we’re able to lead is because we’re able to persuade effectively and powerfully.

When you understand how resourceful one needs to be to persuade, the way you communicate will change forever. Persuasion is not about telling people what to think, but shaping what people think about, how they make decisions, and what they consider in making their choices.

Most people communicate poorly for the simple reason they’re poor listeners. Other people just focus on style. Great substance delivered without much style can still be effective but great style without substance will ultimately be exposed.

Communication is all about influence, persuasion and negotiation. Good communicators are strategists. We keep asking “what do we want our audience to remember?”

We keep checking “what concerns our audience most? How do we want to make them feel?”

We interpret and analyse information constantly to stay updated and relevant to our task.

Two people may be in love, yet the quality of their relationship (or any relationship for that matter) will depend on the quality of their communication. If your goal is to get people to purchase your product, execute your strategy, invest in your ideas or your business, hire you, give you a raise, vote for you, support you, promote your beliefs, learn from your teachings, or deliver the verdict you desire, you need to influence, persuade and negotiate. The more advantage you want, the more elegantly you will need to perform.

Don’t we all know people with superior products and talent who do poorly? They don’t achieve their potential because they fail to convert their prospects into believers. It’s the little things that hold them back, but these things make a big difference.

What if you could get people to listen every time you had something to say? What if you could change their thinking, and get them to act on your message? Or maybe you only want to remember how it feels when no one bothers. Now that the solution is being made available, pounce on the opportunity, why don’t you?

We now live in a service-based economy where value is measured by the exchange of quality ideas, capacity to innovate, and by the promise of greater potential. I began my work of promoting personal excellence by developing self-awareness, self-esteem and self-discipline. With these basics in place, other crucial components of success include effective communication, creative and innovative thinking. All these put together allow us to self-actualise or realise our potential.

How committed are you to living your best life? Remember, a goal without a plan is just a wish. And nothing will change until you decide.