KUALA LUMPUR: There is still a high demand for prostitutes in Malaysia — if official figures on the arrests of foreign call girls are any indication.
And one of the reasons for this steady demand is apparently busy, career-chasing wives.
Women’s Aid Organisation vice-president Vicky Alahakone said in some cases, the wives were partly to blame for their men straying as they had unwittingly “abandoned” their husbands while trying to juggle careers and the household.
“Some husbands seek prostitutes to escape the dreariness of their daily lives by injecting some excitement into their mundane routines.
“It’s like going out for dinner and having an exotic meal. Then, feeling full and satiated, they go home to the wife and kids.
“There are also married couples who do not communicate well, especially when it comes to sexual intimacy.
Women’s Aid Organisation vice-president Vicky Alahakone says some husbands feel 'abandoned'
Shying away from the problem instead of discussing it can lead to infidelity.” That Malaysian men have a high sex drive is not in doubt. A Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey last year showed that four in five Malaysians had sex on a weekly basis, and 35 per cent three times or more in a week.
Our men are head and shoulders above the rest of the world when it comes to frequency, but it has emerged that many are fulfilling their sexual desires with prostitutes, especially foreign ones.
Police statistics show a consistent number of foreign women arrested since 2007 for prostitution.
A total of 4,379women from China were arrested for vice in 2007, more than half the total figure. This rose to 4,496 last year, while 4,329were arrested as of October this year.
In 2007, 1,181 Indonesian women were nabbed, 1,389 in 2008, and 1,382 as of October.
“The demand for women from China is the highest as men find their fair skin and statuesque figures attractive,” said a source.
Prostitutes from China enter Malaysia on one-month social visit visas and during that month, they can earn up to RM15,000, especially if they operate on their own without a pimp.
As with other things in life, the “services” offered depend on the prices the clients are willing or able to pay. And these men come from all backgrounds — from labourers to professionals.
In the city, foreign workers tend to seek local prostitutes operating in Chow Kit. Middleand upper-income earners go to spas and health clubs where women of different nationalities are available.
Those who can afford to splash out thousands of ringgit sit at home and wait for the women, who look and dress like models, to be sent to their door step.
A lack of religious and moral education are among the reasons cited by experts on why Malaysian men visit prostitutes.
But some men go to prostitutes to exhibit their masculinity and dominance over women, according to a sociologist from Help University College who did not want to be named.
“As women become more independent and empowered, some men feel threatened. So they go to prostitutes who treat them like kings, thus restoring their pride and ego.” Some men see prostitutes as a temporary reprieve or escape from family obligations or stress in the workplace or at home.
Professor Dr Suradi Salim of Universiti Malaya said when ardours of romance had died down after a long marriage and with couples leading busy and stressful lives, the reduced frequency of intimacy between a husband and wife could see the man visiting prostitutes to live out his sexual fantasies.
“What is important is for men to be given a solid religious education. This might be an effective deterrent in discouraging them from seeking prostitutes.”
Should busy working women be blamed for straying husbands? Send your views to nsunt@nst.com.my
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Reader's Comments
(Latest Comments Displayed First)
Murk:
Why blame it on the women? They have a right to strive for independence.
Perhaps the husband is weak-willed and can't refuse a quick fix. But then again, let's not forget that women, too, sometimes seek sexual relations outside of marriage whether with prostitutes (remember, there is such a thing as a gigolo) or not.
At the end of the day it comes down to the INDIVIDUAL, and not GENDER. Let's not make harsh generalisations based on a select few.
Religious or not, honesty between partners has to be maintained at all times.
James Cheah:
Dont blame the women and the men, the husbands and the wives only. Blame the authorities, the media, books and magazines, literaturers, the illegal DVD/VCD sellers who sell phonographic DVD/VCD, the webmasters who allow phonographic videos to be shown on the Internet, that drives some boys and girls, men and women, husbands and wives to go crazy for sex, for experience and for pleasures.
amir khan:
It is very sad to look at the statistics. I believe maybe its high for muslim couple to have a different opinion on polygamy. At least their husband will not commit adultery with prostitute whom might be infected with dangerous STD plus increasing the risk of spreading it to their wives.~just some food for thought for the muslim couples~
George:
Let's blame the woman again shall we...? Sigh... It seems to me that this is much less about sex than it is about COMMUNICATION - a lack thereof - and taking the easy way out rather than dealing with the problem. Boredom and staleness do tend to creep into a relationship after a certain point in time. BOTH partners need to be on the watch for it, and need to talk about it when it happens. Both parties need to work on a solution - even if the best solution might ultimately come in the form of a divorce. Better that than creating emotional havoc with your partner, your relationship, and others by straying outside the bounds of your marriage. Just because a person can't see the consequences of their actions doesn't mean that there aren't any. And Allah will hold us to account for all that we do or fail to do...
Henry Yee:
Most wives understand their husband sexual desires and urges and find time like weekends to please and satisfiy their sexual urge including the wives themselves.
And not all husbands look for prostitutes to satisfy their sex drives. Some spend times and energy at golf-course and some at the gym and some go and spend time gardening,jogging, fishing and hunting. The pious one go to surau, mosque, temples and church - pray and listen to religious lecturers.
aida yusoff:
Women are no totally to be blamed of the straying husband. It is man who need to be blame what make them to be in that case. As time goes by, women now are become more independence because of men themselves. If women do not turn up at working place, how come they want to survive in the city like Kuala Lumpur, as all the things we want now we must have money. If we depend only to men to give comfortable in our lives, we would never get that. So women nowaday decide to have their own income as it can gives security. If one day, their men died or find someone else, so these women do not to worry about. So in this case, the working women should not be blame at all because they just trying to have comfortable life that men could not provide..
Faza:
Blame the women of course! If its not the women, its the men. If its not them, it must be the Government! Theres more to a marriage than having good sex. Honestly, I believe in having good satsfying sex but that doesnt mean you can just go ahead and take the risk of wrecking your marriage!!After all, we are not animals that need to only fulfill our sexual desires and hunger. Not only are we given that thing down there...we are given brains too, for God sake!! The prostitutes are trying to make a living and the men go to them because they can.
DR AZIZ AHMED:
its really true about the men and the sexuality, also true that working women may straying husbands, but can not be blamed because of their working attitude.
Really it needs religiuos knowlege and application to control prostitution, strict supervision is required to control this with obvious policies should be displayed in Hotels.
In the end,being a Muslim every one is responsible to help and protect them not to go for prostitution
Reza Razak:
This is a poor excuse for news article. In a world where corruption at every level needs to be addressed, to write such an article without the use of any empirical evidence to support such claims, reduces this "news article" as gossip and drivel. Please, attempt to report the news and not waste time and resources on such nonsense.
Kay:
"So where and how do the strong and healthy and sexually healthy husband between the ages of 30 to 60 go to satisfy their sexual urge, who at one time used to have 2 times a day and 4 days a week?"
Edward Tan:
The main issue that is being discussed in this article is about �sex and the husband�. But three other issues crops up and they are (1) working wives; (2) foreign prostitutes; (3) the urge for sex.
Why some husband goes for prostitutes to satisfy their sexual lust? There are several reasons to that. Like the writer said some men treat sex as like taking a meal. When one is hungry one will look for food and some want a good meal, a light meal or a heavy meal depending on the want, the urge and the cooking.
To understand men sexual desirers we must understand the biological factors of human beings and of men. Normal human beings, men and women, have sexual desires and urge. When we were young, starting from the age of around 14, our sexual desires and urge were stronger. We want to learn and experience.
When we are married we do our husband and wife sexual responsibilities together. We satisfy each other sexually, our urge and our desirers in addition to our need for having children and raising a family of our own.
But working women, in their quest for equality, for more money, for their own future, safety and security, for better quality of life tend to forget their husband sexual desire and urge. They spend and energy with their work and business. When they return home they are tired and as a result perform less active in sex at home with their husband.
So where and how do the strong and healthy and sexually healthy husband between the ages of 30 to 60 go to satisfy their sexual urge, who at one time used to have 2 times a day and 4 days a week?
There are several other factors that make woman tired and less interest in having sex with the husband and that is the traffic and public transport system in our towns and cities. We spend too much time on the road to and from home to office.
Terry:
The Women's Aid Organisation vice-president Vicky Alahakone is quite sick in this case, why women have to be blame because of their hubby cheat outside? The busy life of the wives & reluctant of the wife to give in was the excuses of the hubby to cheat at red light district and as a domino effect, the husband infected with HIV and transmitted to their wife.
If women was to be blame for busy juggling between work & household, then in other mean it show that it was wrong for women fighting for better quality of life to their family and wrong to earn money to feed her child and husband.How can a good cause to be blame?
I don't think a responsibly good man and high moral will ever pay a visit to prostitute hub as if their wife don't want to give in because of tiredness of work.
As a conclusion, the cheating of man outside got nothing to do or should not blame their wife, the man should be the sole person who responsible on it.
Furthermore, there is quite often sad cases happened in Malaysian that they rape thir own child, can you blame the kids to grow too pretty and the mother of the kids don't give in the father.
