Sex and the hubby

2009/11/29

By Lee Shi-Ian and Halimatul Hamid

KUALA LUMPUR: There is still a high demand for prostitutes in Malaysia — if official figures on the arrests of foreign call girls are any indication. And one of the reasons for this steady demand is apparently busy, career-chasing wives.

Women’s Aid Organisation vice-president Vicky Alahakone said in some cases, the wives were partly to blame for their men straying as they had unwittingly “abandoned” their husbands while trying to juggle careers and the household.

“Some husbands seek prostitutes to escape the dreariness of their daily lives by injecting some excitement into their mundane routines.

“It’s like going out for dinner and having an exotic meal. Then, feeling full and satiated, they go home to the wife and kids.

“There are also married couples who do not communicate well, especially when it comes to sexual intimacy.

Shying away from the problem instead of discussing it can lead to infidelity.” That Malaysian men have a high sex drive is not in doubt. A Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey last year showed that four in five Malaysians had sex on a weekly basis, and 35 per cent three times or more in a week.

Our men are head and shoulders above the rest of the world when it comes to frequency, but it has emerged that many are fulfilling their sexual desires with prostitutes, especially foreign ones.

Police statistics show a consistent number of foreign women arrested since 2007 for prostitution.

A total of 4,379women from China were arrested for vice in 2007, more than half the total figure. This rose to 4,496 last year, while 4,329were arrested as of October this year.

In 2007, 1,181 Indonesian women were nabbed, 1,389 in 2008, and 1,382 as of October.

“The demand for women from China is the highest as men find their fair skin and statuesque figures attractive,” said a source.

Prostitutes from China enter Malaysia on one-month social visit visas and during that month, they can earn up to RM15,000, especially if they operate on their own without a pimp.

As with other things in life, the “services” offered depend on the prices the clients are willing or able to pay. And these men come from all backgrounds — from labourers to professionals.

In the city, foreign workers tend to seek local prostitutes operating in Chow Kit. Middleand upper-income earners go to spas and health clubs where women of different nationalities are available.

Those who can afford to splash out thousands of ringgit sit at home and wait for the women, who look and dress like models, to be sent to their door step.

A lack of religious and moral education are among the reasons cited by experts on why Malaysian men visit prostitutes.

But some men go to prostitutes to exhibit their masculinity and dominance over women, according to a sociologist from Help University College who did not want to be named.

“As women become more independent and empowered, some men feel threatened. So they go to prostitutes who treat them like kings, thus restoring their pride and ego.” Some men see prostitutes as a temporary reprieve or escape from family obligations or stress in the workplace or at home.

Professor Dr Suradi Salim of Universiti Malaya said when ardours of romance had died down after a long marriage and with couples leading busy and stressful lives, the reduced frequency of intimacy between a husband and wife could see the man visiting prostitutes to live out his sexual fantasies.

“What is important is for men to be given a solid religious education. This might be an effective deterrent in discouraging them from seeking prostitutes.”

Should busy working women be blamed for straying husbands? Send your views to nsunt@nst.com.my

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