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10 June 2012| last updated at 07:39AM

ARE SINGLES HAPPIER?: Better to be unwed if hubby only wants sex

By Marisa Demori, Kuala Lumpur

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I REFER to the letter "It isn't part of God's plan" by Samuel Yesuiah, last Sunday.

The writer concludes his letter by stating that "the greatest tragedy of being single is that at the end of the day, a single person retires to bed alone with no one to care, hold and love."

I wonder if the word "love" here does not really mean "have sex with"? Because if it does, then I should like to inform the writer that women, and wives in particular, are not to be used as sleeping pills.

I can see that men and women who have received a proper education seek other things besides sex. They want someone to talk to, not simply chat, but someone whom they can have a conversation with now and then. A person who is knowledgeable and challenging, but not overbearing.

Educated men and women want someone to listen to them, to help them and to take over when and where necessary. Both educated men and women want their life partners to be financially stable and secure.

But the greatest quality any good man or woman would seek in a future mate is kindness. Kindness is very much missing in the modern world, simply because people are not proficient in the language.

I think many women are weary of marrying someone who expects to be given his lollipop on a daily basis or at least three times as week. They would rather stay single than live in fear that the moment they can't say "yes" to their husband, he will go out and get himself a new wife or pay a sex worker.

I don't think it's any easier for men. In fact, the situation must be even more difficult for them.

Since men have generally been stereotyped as the ones who take the lead, a man who is afraid of being put in a situation where he might underperform with a woman will certainly not want to get married.

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