CHILD ABUSE: Parents should seek help to cope with problems
IT is difficult to fathom why anyone would abuse a child, least of all their parents. It is easy to judge though, to say, "I would never do such a thing". But, sometimes, this is not easy to follow. The only difference between us and them is that right now we know where to draw the line and they have lost sight of it. Any parent is capable of losing control of their reactions.
There is a school of thought that abuse is about power and control. Who better to overpower and control than little people who can't defend themselves and who conveniently live under the same roof? When life seems to be spinning out of control, abusers try even harder to hang on to what they can control.
Sometimes, when parents are under a lot of stress, they turn to alcohol for relief and that in turn weakens their ability to control their behaviour, leading to abuse. For some abusers, they know no other way to relate to children because that is the only relationship they had with their parents and the only way people related to each other as a child.
Relationship patterns repeat themselves because, good or bad, that's what the child learned and how they conduct themselves as adults.
If one is lucky, one would recognise when life is spinning out of control and reach out for help, regaining the equilibrium. There is no shame in getting help.
By learning new methods of coping, one will also be teaching children better ways to relate when they become parents.
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