IN the course of our daily life, it's inevitable to cross paths with all kinds of people. Some will be pleasant, others may be bad; some are positive, and others, not so. I came across an anonymous quote recently on the Internet, which said: "Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution." I couldn't agree more.
As parents, we can also become good, bad, positive or negative, and sometimes within a short period of one another. The pressures of life and expectations have a funny way of messing up what could be a peaceful day. Add in screaming kids and messy homes, and things can quickly turn south.
This is the point where the tough gets going when the going gets tough. They manage to stay calm amidst the storm. They can see the positive side of a gloomy outlook. They make the right decisions by seeing the best in what's available. It's worth noting that negative people often see the ugly side of beauty. Meanwhile, positive people find beauty in an ugly situation.
SEEING THE BRIGHT SIDE
How can we become a more positive person? It's not impossible, but it's not easy either. It requires a steely determination and even stronger discipline. But it will be worth it. Research has shown that positive people don't only enjoy a brighter outlook in life, they're also healthier and less stressed. Isn't that what we need today?
Let's begin with our family. Do we see problems, or potentials? When our children misbehave, do we see naughty children or creative ones? I recall an experience I had with my youngest child. It was a few weeks before Hari Raya and I'd just paid someone to repaint the interior of our house.
Barely a few days later, I came home to see scribbles on the walls. I had a choice: to scold him for messing up the newly painted wall, or try to see the message behind the scribbles. I thank God for choosing the latter.
When I asked him about the drawing, he said it was his plans for Hari Raya. He wanted to visit grandma and our relatives, enjoy some food and the balik kampung trip. I was astonished by his detailed plans expressed in his drawings.
Imagine if I'd opted to be negative. I'd probably not care and end up losing control of my emotions. In addition, I would also have lost an opportunity to see an innocent child trying to be a part of his family's plans and hurt his feelings badly.
NEW YOU
When I asked him why he drew his plans on the painted wall, he replied: "My room wall is full." Children are innocent and positive creatures. Unfortunately, adults tend to jump on the negative side by focusing on the problems, not solutions.
Let's be more like the children. Commit to being a more positive person from now on. Make it a game to look for the positive side of any situation, no matter how negative it might be. Try it for a day, and then a week, a month and ultimately, for life. Our children and family will love the new us.
A year from now, I can bet those who focus on problems will still be there talking and complaining. Meanwhile, the rest of us would have moved on and can look back with pride at all the things that we've achieved.
Zaid Mohamad coaches and trains others to bring out their best while enjoying a peaceful, purposeful life. Reach him at coach@zaidmohamad.com.