VIDEOS MAY BE DISTRESSING TO SOME VIEWERS. DISCRETION IS ADVISED
A BRAZILIAN football referee, who was probably raised in the wild, made a huge SPLASH at a match in Saquarema, Rio de Janeiro, on Thursday, the Daily Mail reported. He's since been (golden) showered with opprobrium.
Here's the playback: Just as the Copa de Brasil match was about to kick-off, TV cameras – which were broadcasting the game live – captured the curious sight of a stream of liquid issuing from Denis da Silva Ribeiro Serafim's shorts. At first glance, it seemed as if he was helpfully irrigating the pitch with a tiny watering can. But instant replay (in my mind, at least) revealed that the refer-pee was having a wee.
Now, I don't know much about football. But that's surely a foul-smelling foul, is it not? One warranting a yellow card? A urine-yellow card? (Red if he has a urinary tract infection).
The shi-shi hit the fan when footage of the leak was leaked onto Twitter, where it was instantly ABSORBED and went viral. The first video, shot from a distance, shows Serafim standing at the centre circle, over the ball, appearing to irritably adjust his shorts as if they are ill-fitting (great cover). But he's looking around him like a first-time kleptomaniac at a 7-Eleven. Suddenly, you notice the narrow stream of oopsie escaping his left pant leg, like a glorious ray of sunshine. You watch, stunned, as he then affects a casual stroll away from the scene of the crime, like a boss. With strangely shiny, wet cleats.
The second video is a close-up view of the original footage (kawaii!) – and so devastatingly incriminating that you might lose control of your OWN bladder as you view it. As it zooms in on Serafim's shorts, we see that it isn't just a dainty stream, but Niagara Falls. He must have had a Big Gulp or something.
Urine is torrential raining from BOTH pant legs AND through the crotch area, drowning his socks and cleats. Before he's even done, he starts to swagger away – and the swaying fountains of KLCC Park suddenly come to mind. Throughout the entire mesmerising display, the refer-weewee behaves as if not a single sighted person notices his "faux pas" – a level of delusion I'd compare to scoring a miraculous goal. Yup, Serafim should wear a jersey with 'Number 1' emblazoned on it.
But then you remember the ball over which he was standing. No headers, please!
Video 1
Video 2