KUALA LUMPUR: He’s been sneeringly dubbed ‘Teflon Don’ because none of the riot of crises and controversies which have bedevilled him throughout his tumultuous poo-residency has managed to stick.
But US President Donald Trump’s slightly-soiled reputation finally went down the toilet in Washington DC on Thursday.
While boarding Air Force One for a trip to Rochester, Minnesota on Oct 4 – and to the jaw-dropping amazement of onlookers – the world’s most powerful leader confidently strutted up the stairs with several squares of toilet paper stuck to his left shoe (a stowaway!)
In a video clip which has gone supernova on social media, the very noticeable memento from the Oval Office’s washroom can be seen holding on for dear life to the sole of Trump’s left shoe, flailing with each step he takes.
When the Commander in Chief reaches the top of the stairs, he pivots to wave to a crowd of his supporters off-camera, before entering the plane – and that is when the TP and the Leader of the Free World part company (it is an emotional parting).
Trump was strangely oblivious to the fact that he was carrying very conspicuous excess baggage (now that he knows, I’m sure he’ll raise a stink) – but what of his ace security detail gathered around ‘The Beast’ at the foot of the stairs? The three possibilities are eyebrow-raising: they were either clueless to the terrorist toilet paper’s presence (which doesn’t speak highly of their protection skills); they were completely aware of the smelly situation, but said nothing (maybe THEY wrote the notorious ‘internal resistance’ New York Times’ piece); or they just didn’t give a s**t.
In any case, the brief Trump-toilet paper paring was a gift from the Gods for the President’s legion of foaming-at-the-mouth detractors. Once the s**t hit the fan, they stampeded to Twitter and fell all over themselves to rub it in.
According to the Daily Mail, tweets included: “(This) kind of makes sense considering he’s a piece of s**t”; and “That wasn’t toilet paper, it was the Constitution”.
All I can say is, people are mean (s**t happens, you know). And we now have incontrovertible evidence that Trump wipes – so how bad can he be?