IT has been 10 years since my mother’s passing and I have not engaged anyone for private nursing since. When my family engaged someone to care for our late mum, they were called private nurses. Today, agencies offer the services of nurses and caregivers.
There are several ranks of nurses — a staff nurse or registered nurse is a medical professional who can administer injections, set up intravenous lines and instal food tubes while a nursing assistant can perform routine patient care on a day-to-day basis.
There are also nurses who have completed advanced training and educational requirements who can perform certain surgical procedures, and nurse-midwives who can assist women in gynaecologicial and obstetric care, and deliver babies.
In those two years, we had a steady team of three nurses. We had a staff nurse and two assistant nurses who worked shifts to help us out because mum needed injections and food tubes, amongst other requirements.
Looking back, I realise how lucky we were to have had good and efficient people in our lives. The doctor gave his assessment and several private nurses were recommended to us. We signed them on based on trust and recommendations and were very lucky that everything worked out fine. There were a few people in between who came but the arrangements did not work out — we just didn’t meet each other’s expectations.
As I review our experiences during those years of caring for our parents, we had so many things going our way, and I feel very blessed for that. Here are some tips on what you should do when you’re hiring someone to care for your loved one, be they nurses or caregivers.
First, assess the situation. Do you need assistance at home? As primary caregivers ourselves, we sometimes suffer from the “superhero syndrome”, thinking that we can do everything. What comes out of that is exhaustion, resentment, depression and poor health. So assess your situation and if you need to, accept that outside help may be necessary because you can’t do it all on your own. If finance is a problem, you may need to enlist your family and relatives to help.
BACKGROUND CHECK
Once you’ve established this, start searching for people or agencies that provide such help. Do you need a registered nurse to help you with injections and tubes? Ask your doctor for guidelines and the home care you’d need to do. This person should be able to make notes on details of medications and care given at home, and report to you and the doctor about what has been carried out.
Don’t keep putting off the process of looking for candidates as it takes time to get results and find the right, near perfect match. You also need to give time for trial and error to consider a few candidates. You might even want to consider a trial run and see if it works out.
The first few days would most likely be the toughest as the hired caregiver is learning the ropes, but it can be tough for your loved one too. Being with a stranger can sometimes be unnerving. Observe how well they interact with each other. The caregiver may be competent and knows everything that needs to be done. But if your loved one can’t get along with his or her caregiver, there will only be much distress and angst.
You should never completely relinquish your duties to the hired help. Stay involved. Don’t leave valuables lying around the house and within easy reach. Do surprise visits. Instal CCTV for your peace of mind.
Before you let someone into your home and care for your loved one, it would be a good idea to ask the agency for the person’s background and experience. Some agencies hire untrained foreign workers who are paid a maid’s salary. You won’t really know what sort of training or experience they’ve had.
Ask the agency to provide referrals. When you receive referrals, be sure to call them for verification. You should find out for sure that they’re not just dropping names, or if it’s your friend who has recommended the person or agency, ask them why their services ended.
Don’t be afraid to ask for proof of identity, address, telephone number and their IC number — that’s the least they should do. If they refuse, then you should be on guard. You are letting someone into your home. You should at least know their details too.
Ideally, you should be able to ask if they have ever been in trouble with the law, or maybe have some transgression with previous jobs. You might even want to consider paying for a criminal background check. Realistically, I don’t think any agency would admit to hiring someone substandard or with a criminal record; they may not even be aware of it. All the same, you’d have to muster up the courage to ask some of these tough questions.
This entire process can be rather intimidating. But remember this: You are allowing someone into your home to care for your loved one. That is a big responsibility. You must have peace of mind.
Trust your instincts about ruling out people who don’t feel right to you. It is okay to change your mind or terminate their services if they don’t deliver as promised. No doubt going through a few people is a hassle and is inconvenient, but don’t lose hope. If you’re persistent, you’ll eventually find the right person.
Putri Juneita Johari volunteers for the Special Children Society of Ampang. She can be reached at juneitajohari@yahoo.com