WHEN children are younger, they tend to be more obedient and follow instructions without asking too many questions.
However, things change when they grow older and become teenagers.
Some will start disobeying their parents on purpose. This situation can create tension for parents.
What happened, we may ask. How can our little angel, once so obedient, suddenly turn into a rebel?
According to the mind maturity process developed by Charles Piaget, children aged 12 years and below like to follow rules. They like clarity and thrive on clear instructions. At this age, it’s easier to mould them into disciplined individuals.
RULES AND INSTRUCTIONS
Rules, instructions and clear answers make them feel very focused. In contrast, children who have experienced tense situations or lack of clarity are not so lucky.
The negative situation will cause them to feel confused and they end up losing focus. Because of this, families need to preserve harmony at home to ensure their young ones will remain happy and calm.
However, as they become teenagers, children start to feel uncomfortable with rigid rules and lots of instructions.
They like to have freedom to determine their own direction. They are also easily influenced by friends.
EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER
Teenagers tend to rely on friends when it comes to deciding what to do. Decisions are sometimes made emotionally. The good news is that although it’s not easy to influence teenagers, parents should not just give up.
There are things parents can do to balance the situation and give their teens some freedom. First and foremost, parents need to acknowledge and understand the emotional roller coaster their teenagers are experiencing.
It’s probably due to the hormones their bodies are producing. Parents need to be extra patient and must understand that their teenagers are also confused with the changes.
SUPPORT AND UNDERSTANDING
During this period, support from parents is very necessary, not nagging and instructions.
Let’s give them some space to think and act in their own way. Reduce rules and instructions. Even if we do dish them out, don’t expect them to be followed to a tee. Instead, empower them to think and decide. Hopefully, they will soon realise thattheir parents are actually their supporters.
Parents’ sincerity and fairness in fulfilling their everyday needs go a long way towards building a more positive and harmonious relationship.
With that in mind, let’s create a much more fulfilling and happy experience for our teenagers by being more flexible. And yes, don’t forget to give them more freedom within reasonable boundaries.
Zaid Mohamad coaches and trains parents to experience happier homes and more productive workplaces. Reach him at zaid@smartparents.com.my