BEING calm and collected are some of the virtues we all should have especially when we have to make major decisions. And as a caregiver, there are certainly many decisions to be made.
If there were an emergency, you’d have to be able to make swift decisions with the doctor’s advice, of course! Sometimes there’s no time to wait for a group decision.
I’ll never forget when my youngest son severed the tip of his finger. The last time I looked at the injured digit, it didn’t look severed but there was a lot of blood. I just took the kitchen towel, wrapped his hand and drove to the hospital.
It was when we got there and the doctor and nurses examined his hand that we saw the tip was hanging by a bit of skin. The doctor snipped it off, cleaned the severed piece, put it in a plastic bag, placed it in a bowl of ice, and handed it to me, saying, “Hang on to this until we can get your son into OT and re-attach it.”
I just nodded, wide-eyed and speechless, clutching the bowl and guarding it with my life! I was so worried for my son that I didn’t feel anything else. I wasn’t dizzy, nauseous or even teary.
I understood everything the doctor told me. It was so weird that I didn’t even recognise my calm voice and demeanour as we went from room to room doing X-rays and preparations for surgery.
Actually, I was feeling quite numb, horrified at the thought that I was holding a piece of his finger. At the same time, I was trying to comfort him, telling him that everything would be fine.
I think my son fared better than me. He could smile and chitchat with the nurses.
Whatever they did to keep him calm somewhat worked on me too. I prayed that the surgeon was good at what he did and that my son would regain the use of his finger. All the papers that needed to be signed were brought to me because I refused to leave my son’s side. He was barely 7!
Once he was sedated, I had to leave the operating theatre to let the surgical team work their wonders. That’s when I felt as though I’d awakened from my dreamlike state and got into action.
STAY CALM
I made a list of what needed to be brought from home — like his favourite soft toy and things to keep him busy and amused during his hospital stay, along with other essentials. Then, I started making calls to the significant people in our lives, especially my son’s grandparents who doted on him.
I was so tense and stressed that I was in a “fight or flight” mode. I could relax a little once I knew the emergency was over and that my son’s finger was “repaired”.
The surgeon declared the surgery a success. The finger was re-attached and we were told that all should be back to normal in a few months. He’d need to do some exercises to regain full function.
I felt like giving the surgeon a big bear hug but just smiled widely instead. I was so grateful for everything that tears replaced words. He gave a kindly pat on my arm and said he’d drop by that night to ensure that all was well.
I spent the night at the hospital, sleeping on a very uncomfortable couch. However, I was glad to be there because he woke up at night wanting to go to the toilet or have a drink. Many mishaps tend to happen when the groggy patient tries to do things on his own.
My family and I always believe that someone should stay overnight on the first night of a loved one being hospitalised, especially after surgery.
You never know how they’d react to the after-effects of general anaesthesia. For example, my sister always vomits a few hours after coming out of surgery, a common side-effect of anaethesia as medications are given on an empty stomach.
You’re also at your weakest and most vulnerable after surgery and it’s always nice to wake up to a familiar face.
My son was hospitalised for a few days. His finger healed well. It may not look like the perfect original finger but it would regain much of its shape and appearance, even normal feel and sensation.
Indeed it did. With some simple exercises, that finger healed beautifully and regained its full function and dexterity. It has been more than 10 years since the injury and the scars are hardly noticeable.
It really helps to be calm and collected because you’re better able to be there in the moment, to ask questions, to absorb whatever the doctor is saying, and decide what needs to be done. You need to be strong for two.
Putri Juneita Johari volunteers for the Special Children Society of Ampang. She can be reached at juneitajohari@yahoo.com.