CAN you have it all? It’s a question that every woman inevitably faces at some point in her life. Between work, family and everything in-between, it’s not surprising that women feel so pressured all the time.
Work-life balance sounds ideal in theory. But figuring out how to juggle it all is always a challenge, especially when the system is stacked against us. A demanding career makes things even more difficult: Between the deluge of emails, back-to-back meetings and nonstop deadlines, it’s tricky enough to squeeze in a cappuccino run, let alone carve out time for lunch with your friends, the kids’ school play or barre class.
Here’s how real women manage to find harmony (or not) between their professional and personal lives.
Melissa Goh
Senior Correspondent, Channel News Asia
The dynamic Melissa Goh began her career in journalism as a broadcast journalist and newscaster with Malaysia's first privatised TV network, TV3, in 1996. She hosted TV3's popular weekly business and financial programme called Money Matters from 1997-1998, which tackled the Asian financial crisis and political fallouts following the Thai Baht meltdown. Goh subsequently joined the Television Corporation of Singapore in 1999 as a business presenter before moving to Channel News Asia as a news producer. She is now Senior Correspondent for Channel News Asia’s Malaysia Bureau.
For the soft-spoken Goh, her burgeoning career in broadcast journalism wasn’t without some sacrifices. “In my line of work, everything seems rather fluid. I often wonder when the next breaking news is going to be and where I have to be next,” she explains candidly in a recent e-mail interview.
The only constant, she points out, are her family and friends. “It is not easy managing expectations so they’ve learnt not to expect from me, because more often than not, I have had to change plans at the 11th hour,” confides Goh.
Her children have learnt to adapt to her sudden absences from a very young age and according to Goh, it seems that as they grow older, they are able to better understand. “My 11-year-old son especially has taken an interest in my work and I often find myself sharing my daily encounters and experiences when I’m tucking him in for bed,” she shares, adding proudly: “He’s usually spot-on in his observation of things!”
Goh tells me that she has many role models. At home, she admired her late mother for her compassion and kindness in taking care of a large household that not only included her children, but those of another woman’s. “I grew up in a large household with more than one mother,” she reveals bluntly. “My mother’s strength in keeping the family together and her ability to forgive were qualities I admired tremendously.”
In her line of work, Goh shares that she has been fortunate to meet women from all walks of life, from different backgrounds and circumstances — many of whom had and are going through unimaginable challenges. But as Goh would put it, all have a story to tell.
Whether she’s a Rohingya refugee seeking help for her children, a woman manning a roadside stall while toting her young son, beleaguered mother Indira Gandhi who has never given up hope eight years on, fighting to be reunited with her daughter who was taken away by her ex-husband, or even Lilian Teoh who’s still fighting for justice for her beloved brother Teoh Beng Hock — these are the women Goh looks up to.
“There are just so many examples of female role models out there. They live among us… they live with us,” she says emphatically. “We all make sacrifices but we are lucky that we don’t have to be judged constantly.”
Being a woman had never been an obstacle for Goh in pursuing her career in journalism. And it shouldn’t be for any woman. “Just have an open mind,” she advises before concluding: “Be prepared to go the extra mile and I promise you, the next adventure is just right around the corner!”
Kanitha Krishnasamy
Regional Director for Traffic Southeast Asia
The feisty Kanitha Krishnasamy possesses over 15 years of knowledge and expertise working in the conservation field. Currently the Regional Director for Traffic Southeast Asia’s extensive programme in Southeast Asia, she leads the region’s programme on tackling trade in severely threatened species including tigers, rhinos and elephants, pangolins, birds, bears, turtles and tortoises and others threatened by trade in Southeast Asia.
Kanitha’s wealth of knowledge on wildlife, trade and regional conservation policy informs not only the organisation’s work but acts as an advisor to other relevant agencies on monitoring and tackling wildlife trafficking as well as law enforcement support.
The most difficult thing she has encountered, quips Kanitha, was her height. Or lack of it. “My 1.6 metre height stood in the way of being able to show my face way above the average rostrum!” she jokes, before adding: “I started buying higher heels but after a while, I chucked the heels and walked to the centre of the stage if I had to!”
She has been fortunate enough not to experience serious difficulties simply because she is a woman. The steep learning curves — especially when Kanitha first started out — were challenging. “Working in an NGO makes you experience the term ‘jack of all trades’ because resources are scarce,” she recalls, adding: “It’s sink or swim, but that’s what builds character. How far you go and how one overcomes a problem boils down to character and calibre. Not your gender.”
Her formative years in conservation began at the Malaysian Nature Society (MNS). “That’s where it really began,” she says softly. The few nature stalwarts within the organisation along with those who were conservation gurus both intimidated and challenged her. “…But they took the time, effort and patience to guide a young graduate fresh out of university. I wanted to be like them, or better!” she recalls fondly.
There is a constant dilemma that most career women — no matter at what level — always grapple with. How to do it — balance high profile jobs with its own demands and stresses, with an equally demanding personal life. For Kanitha, there are no rights or wrongs, and there is definitely no single mantra that she goes by.
“Take a break? What’s that?” she quips before admitting: “Family and good friends constantly (almost never-ending!) remind me to strive for a work-life balance. But the great thing about being in this field is that I actually get to go out there and behold nature and wildlife in all their glory. I’m blessed that work sometimes takes me to truly amazing places, and that too reminds me to take the time to experience this great big world out there before it is too late.”
Still, Kanitha concedes that it will be a long road before she is able to say that she has achieved what she’s set out to do. “There are small wins of course; like when a law has changed for the better or when decision makers take heed of my recommendations,” she remarks, adding: “But conservation is a long difficult path. Species continue to be in decline due to poaching, illegal trade and a suite of other reasons, while our forest and seas suffer from conversion, poor management and lack of enforcement. There’s certainly a long way to go.”
While conservation and science have generally been considered to be traditionally male-dominated professions, the scene has seen considerable changes, argues Kanitha. “There are many women who have been hugely successful in the conservation field,” she attests, adding firmly: “There isn’t any reason why any woman shouldn’t pursue her passion.”
Having said that, she advises: “Always surround yourself with positive, encouraging people. In my case, my family and circle of friends have been my strongest support system.”
A pause ensues before Kanitha concludes emphatically: “Always be bold. Never be afraid to ask questions, or speak in public. With or without heels!”