WELCOMING a baby into your life can be such a joyful experience, but caring for the little one, especially for first-time mums, can be a very daunting prospect if you don’t have support in the early days.
The newborn is so tiny and feels so fragile. He only feeds, pees, poops and cries; and those cries can mean many different things that you have to learn to decipher — hungry, dirty diapers, cold, uncomfortable, lonely, bored, and so on. It would be some weeks yet before there’d be distinctively different expressions and sounds to convey his different feelings and needs.
As Asians, we’ve had the good fortune of having our mothers, mothers-in-law, relatives and confinement experts to help us during the postpartum confinement period of anything from two weeks to 44 days, depending on our race and culture.
But not everyone is as fortunate, especially when distance separates us from our parents, and confinement women are getting harder to find.
There are also many women who prefer not to observe this tradition due to the many taboos and restrictions.
They find the confinement period restrictive and nonsensical, especially when it comes to things like not bathing or washing hair for a week or more, eating only certain food and drinks, not lifting things other than the baby, not driving and going out.
In this day and age, we can surely adapt and do what’s best for us. We can take the best of both worlds and everyone benefits.
We must also remember why the postpartum confinement period is important — to facilitate rest and recovery for the mother so that she can ease her way back to the rigours of caring for her newborn and family. Every bit of assistance in the first few days after birth contributes to this.
Sometimes, however, getting assistance after birth is difficult, especially if you live in a place or country where most new mothers do it all on their own and getting help is difficult.
There are also many young couples who embrace this new experience by being there for each other, without outside help.
Some husbands step into their role of a loving caregiver by taking control of the housework and even cooking nutritious meals. He’d probably Google for the information or call his mother, mother-in-law and sisters.
He might also employ the help of professional house cleaners and send the laundry out, while helping with the baby. This is really a boon because then his wife would be able to rest and recover, and he’s not too burdened if he has never done housework before. There are ways to work things out.
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There’s also another option that’s fast becoming the choice of many young mothers — confinement centres that offer packages tailored for varying needs and durations.
Several places in the Klang Valley have opened resort-like confinement centres that offer complete postpartum care for mother and baby.
Most of them offer 24-hour nursery care and is breastfeeding-friendly. They also offer choices for massages, confinement food, spa, and come complete with 24-hour CCTV surveillance and security systems.
One centre even has a dedicated camera for each baby that can be accessed by the baby’s parents’ handphones! Talk about keeping your eye on the baby 24/7!
Should you have different dietary needs, there are also dietitians who’d discuss your requirements with you.
Most of these places offer three meals and two snacks, but they also provide a microwave oven should you or your visitors decide to dine with you.
You can choose to have a normal room that’s welcoming for dads, or plush hotel-like suites that’s truly the height of luxurious care. The whole family can visit comfortably. They also have common areas for the mothers to relax and mingle if they wish. They don’t have to feel confined and lonely.
Many of these centres have doctors and registered nurses to examine and monitor the newborns. If there are any problems that affect the mother and/or baby that’s beyond their scope, the staff would refer them to the nearest hospital.
So much of postpartum care has changed and evolved with time, and yet manage to preserve some of the traditions.
If this level of care can be managed and maintained consistently, new mothers need not worry so much about not getting the care they need.
All you need to do is some homework — search the Internet, know what you want, check the places out personally, ask questions, and have a budget to meet your needs.
A major part of caregiving is also about seeking options on how best to give the best care to your loved ones without running yourself ragged.
Putri Juneita Johari volunteers for the Special Children Society of Ampang. She can be reached at juneitajohari@yahoo.com.