“YOU can’t have fear. Sure, it rears its head and there are times, it bothers me. But I won’t let it touch me. Because if I fear, I’ll never be able to perform,” begins Malaysia’s exciting martial arts talent, Agilan Thani, emphatically, his eyes flashing under his dark-rimmed glasses.
Looking supremely relaxed in his oversized black hoodie and casual track bottoms, the athlete known as “Alligator” (the moniker literally ‘forced’ upon him during one kickboxing fight as he had none of his own against that of his opponent who had ‘Raging Bull’ tagged onto his name) is, I duly discover, finally in a “good place”.
The last year and a half hasn’t exactly been too kind to the 23-year-old, one of the top welterweights in ONE Championship (Asia’s largest global sports media property).
He’d been grappling with a serious back injury, suffered a two-bout skid, and plunged into depression over a relationship break-up. In fact, he could be forgiven for contemplating throwing in the towel.
But no, that’s just not Agilan’s style. At least not the NEW Agilan. Despite the odds, the Monarchy MMA representative has returned with a vengeance, proving true the adage that once a fighter, always a fighter.
The Sentul-born athlete made a triumphant return in Shanghai, China recently at ONE: Legendary Quest where, after a lengthy absence, he successfully overcame Japanese-Korean mixed martial arts icon Yoshihiro “Sexy Yama” Akiyama to bring home victory for Malaysia. This win is his 10th career victory.
“Winning feels good because it has been a while since I last won a fight. But I won’t get too excited. I still have a long way to go in my journey,” says Agilan modestly.
A CHANGED MAN
As we make ourselves comfortable on the sofa in the waiting area of the New Straits Times studio, and Agilan braces himself for the “Spanish Inquisition”, I couldn’t help but throw a furtive glance at the young man in front of me.
The last time we met was two years ago for a photo shoot at Monarchy, the modest MMA gym in Kuala Lumpur where the 175cm tall athlete trains. The-then 21-year-old, who made his professional debut in December 2013, appeared less sure of himself and was disconcertingly riddled with self-doubt.
“This is no cocksure Rocky Balbao,” I recall musing to myself as I finally pressed the “off” button on my recorder at the end of our interview session.
The fact that he’d just come off a defeat at the hands of former US Olympian Ben Askren at ONE: Dynasty of Heroes in Singapore earlier in the month probably didn’t help matters.
Having entered the fight with seven clean victories under his belt, Agilan’s hopes of becoming the first Malaysian to win a ONE Championship title were dashed on the night via a fight-ending submission just past the two-minute mark in the first round.
But today, on this beautifully clear Thursday afternoon, two years later, that self-deprecating young man, who spent much of his teenage years battling a weight issue (he was overweight and, as a result, was a victim of bullying), appears a changed man.
“Things changed for me after the surgery. And the break-up,” confides Agilan, his words slicing into my reverie and promptly returning me to the present.
“I got into meditation and became more focused. All the while, my then-girlfriend had been my ‘rock’ and I’d been leaning on her – far too much and for everything. When I lost the ‘rock’, I realised that I was actually stronger than I thought.”
His voice low, the athlete adds: “It was during those tough times that I realised that if I wanted to make something happen for me, I had to go for it now. After all, there was no one to stop me anymore and no distractions. I only had myself and I needed ‘me’ to show that I could do this.”
The “this” that he’s referring to is his dream to be a world champion one day.
Exclaims the ONE Championship star: “I always dream big. Burning inside me is the desire to be a world champion. And for sure, you WILL see me as a world champion one day!”
His emphatic proclamation suddenly gives me a feeling of deja vu. I’d walked out of Monarchy gym two years ago with those words ringing softly in my ears. But back then, the 21-year-old fighter had almost whispered it as if he was unsure about tempting fate. Today, his battle cry is louder.
INTO THE ZEN ZONE
Another reason for his more optimistic outlook on life is thanks to David Goggins’ Can’t Hurt Me, an audio book that has been like a bible for this seemingly re-born athlete.
A quick Google check and I learn that in Can’t Hurt Me, the author shares his astonishing life story and reveals that most of us tap into only 40 per cent of our capabilities.
Goggins calls this “The 40% Rule”, and his story illuminates a path that anyone can follow to push past pain, demolish fear and reach their full potential.
“The book just changed my whole mind-set; I started to look at life in a different way,” confides Agilan contentedly.
“These days, instead of chastising myself for every little thing that I don’t do well, I’m more forgiving (to myself). Yes, I may suck, but I can still try. And suck! It’s okay. I’m here today because I feel that I’m finally doing things right. My mind is in a much clearer place and I understand things better now.”
It’s a far cry from those early days when he used to lament every bad call that life threw at him.
“I’m not a positive person by nature. In fact, I’m 90 per cent negative,” I recall him telling me during that last interview.
His brows furrowing, Agilan, who credits Monarchy’s chief Muay Thai coach, Conrado Furlan (Coco) as the man who has helped turn him around, shares: “In the past, I used to think that every time I get into the ring, I deserved to win because I’d trained so hard. Today, it’s more like, oh, I’ve trained so hard so it’s now time for me to show my skills. It doesn’t matter if I win or lose. I’d be pretty pleased if someone were to say, oh no, Agilan got taken down so many times, but man, his cardio was good. The small, small things give me the biggest satisfaction now.”
Suffice to say, the fighter is definitely a lot more accepting of life.
Says Agilan, who has a weakness for sports shoes and dogs: “I’m okay now with the idea that it’s not possible to control everything. But I can control what I do as a result of the bad call. You just have to move on,” he says, a fleeting smile crossing his face.
AND THE JOURNEY CONTINUES
Having tasted sweet success at his Shanghai showdown and thus ending his losing streak, Agilan confides that he’s craving for more outings in The Home of Martial Arts.
“I’m just thankful for every opportunity given by ONE to me. I’m enjoying what I do more than ever and I really am looking forward to getting in more ‘battles’ before the year is out. It’s important for me to continue the momentum.”
Being in the ring, the sound of the crowd baying his name, is like a drug to this affable athlete. He chuckles when he tells me that it’s the only thing he knows to do.
“When I was younger, I used to say to myself that I was doing this because I wanted to become a world champion. Now I realise it’s more about the lifestyle. I enjoy everything that a fighter’s life entails.”
His brows furrowing, Agilan, who now has a new girlfriend, a fellow martial artist, adds: “What do I enjoy the most? Where can I really express myself in the best way possible? In the ring, of course! I derive great satisfaction from going into a fight, taking and throwing punches, seeing so many people around me and being able to show my skills – the very thing I’ve been working so hard on in training. There’s a certain high to all this!”
He understands that a fighter’s life can be short-lived. After all, he has seen many of his fellow fighters succumb to injury or reached the point where a life in the ring is no longer what it used to be.
Does he have a Plan B, I ask.
Leaning forward, his shoulders hunched somewhat, Agilan contemplates the question. A pause ensues before he eventually replies: “My life is very simple. If you don’t see me in the ring or with ONE anymore, you’ll probably see me back at Monarchy (gym) working as an instructor. The coaches and the team there have helped me a lot so it would be time for me to give back.
“Whatever I have today, I got from Monarchy, from my skills, knowledge, approach, training, even my brown belt! Who knows, maybe one day I might be able to buy shares in the gym!”
Agilan’s journey to where he is today — from an overweight teenager into an elite combat sports athlete – has certainly been a remarkable one.
“I didn’t have this kind of support before. Prior to this, I had the backing of one or two sponsors who helped me to get here and I kept a day job. I worked as a cleaner and as an instructor in the gym,” he muses aloud as we begin to wind down our session to prepare for a photoshoot.
Furthermore, life had never been a bed of roses. The athlete was singlehandedly brought up by his father.
His mother, he shares, without the slightest trace of bitterness, left them when he was only nine months old.
A small smile playing on his lips, Agilan, an only child, confides: “My mum ran away but whenever anyone asked where she was, I’d reply that she went for the Olympics and never came back.”
Was she an athlete? I exclaim, surprised. He beams and replies: “Err... not that I know of!”
The fact that he struggled with his weight during his childhood is something he attributes to his penchant for snacking on junk food while watching TV.
Chuckling, Agilan confesses sheepishly: “Yeah, I was obese. At age 17, I weighed 140kg. I ate and I didn’t exercise.”
Despite all the challenges, the boy’s done good. And as Agilan keeps reiterating, he’s in a good place now. And when one’s in a good place, everything will no doubt fall into place!