FOR sports fans in general, and more so fans of rugby, the loss of New Zealand’s All Blacks team against England in the World Cup would surely rate as one of the biggest news in the last couple of weeks. Few would have expected the mighty All Blacks to lose – but they did!
A learning moment sometimes happen when you least expect it, and this was one of them. The pain of losing is very real, especially when you’ve set your target high and yet the result doesn’t meet your expectations. However, like anything else, we actually do have a choice and control over how we react.
Many successful athletes have actually lost more games than they have, winning them. But in every loss, they also “win” if they try to learn something from it. Did they use the right strategy? Did they underestimate the opponent’s strength? Did they practise enough? These and many more self-analysis can be so valuable when preparing for the next game.
I call this analysis “Jordan Time” in a nod to a very inspirational quote that I stumbled upon by Michael Jordan. He once said, “I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” With that attitude, he went on to become the greatest basketball player of all time.
WINNING IN THE LONG TERM
It’s a great lesson to impart to our children. Tell them that the same principle is also true in life. We will not always get what we want. There will always be better, faster and stronger people than us. But that doesn’t mean they should be left behind.
What it means is that they need to try again after analysing and applying the lessons learnt. Remind them that life isn’t about trying to win everything, but about trying to win at the right time. Life is a marathon and there will be plenty of chances ahead as long as they keep running.
On the flip side, there’s no point in winning in the short-term if we end up losing in the long-term. I came across an anonymous quote over social media recently about the danger of losing even if we win an argument. It went something like this:
You may have won an argument with a client, but eventually he’ll stay away;
You may have won a debate with a colleague, but the teamwork will be affected;
You may even defeat your boss, but your future will be bleak;
You may win with your friends, but they may not want to be around you anymore;
You may overcome your spouse, but he/she may love you less.
Winners never quit and quitters never win. We need to remind our children of this always. Their life is already full of challenges in and outside of the classroom. Be sensitive of their feelings and be their best supporter when it matters most. Avoid the urge to brush their disappointments aside with a quick comment. Instead, take the time to explain properly until you see them smiling again. Ensure that they absorb the valuable lessons of winning and losing that life is presenting them. If done consistently, they’ll always feel a winner despite losing the game.
Zaid Mohamad coaches and trains parents to experience happier homes and more productive workplaces. Reach him at zaidi@smartparents.com.my.