BEING a caregiver is tough, especially when your loved one is going through critical moments and you live by each minute, waiting for news that could swing either way. Such days can stretch into weeks and even months.
On some days, you're filled with the feeling that you can help defeat the odds and lend your strength to your ailing loved one. This phenomenon of possessing such super powers come from your adrenalin rush, after which you'd crash and collapse if you're not careful.
You need to take better care of yourself before that happens. Find ways to give yourself a break, and even a treat every now and then, especially if you've been in stressful situations where you're starting to yearn to get away from it all.
Previously, you might have managed short escapes by travelling to somewhere nice and tranquil to re-energise. Sadly, this isn't possible anymore. Since the Covid-19 pandemic started, borders have closed and the order to stay home to stay safe is still in force.
But all is not lost. You just need to be creative and find ways to treat yourself — and treat yourself well. You'll find that you really don't need to go that far if you can find a small space somewhere to claim as your own, even if it's just for a few hours.
ME TIME
Like many full-time mothers and hands-on parents, caregivers are there to help a loved one almost all day and night. Often, we come last on our list of priorities, which could add up to stress and depression in the long run.
Once you feel this and admit to it, start finding ways to treat yourself. Don't be shy about it. This isn't about going off for hours on end. Here are some things you could do for yourself to improve your mood and well-being.
You need some balls to do this — tennis ball for a good back rub and golf ball as reflexology massage for your feet. The best part about this is you're in control of how hard you want a certain point massaged and when you've had enough.
You'd also find that most of the neck ache, sore arms and backs come from poor sitting posture because you've whiled away the hours sitting on some uncomfortable chair looking at your phone or electronic devices. So take a break from that. An hour is a good start, and doing it often throughout the day is even better.
Take up gardening or have small pots of indoor or outdoor plants (or both) to tend to. This may work better than having pets because you don't have to clean up after them. Alternatively, treat yourself to a bouquet of flowers or a pot of flowering plants to spark some joy. That phrase "stop and smell the roses" couldn't be more apt.
Awakening one's sense of smell with something refreshing can also help you relax. You can do this by taking time off to enjoy a good cup of tea, or even coffee, depending on your personal preference. The fragrance can make you relax and ease away the tension. Sip it slowly. Savour the taste and the moment.
This reminds me of the Japanese tea ceremony. I've often wondered what the fuss was all about, until I experienced it on my trip to Tokyo many years ago.
KEEPING IT SIMPLE
I found that the ritual makes you focus on a task that requires you to use all your five senses of touch, smell, sight, taste and sound. As you do that, you don't think of anything else except to enjoy the moment. It's amazing how such a simple but deliberate act of making and drinking a pot of tea can bring so much tranquility.
I know this sounds too simple to be true, so I challenge you to try it. Or just Google it because you'd find that there are many studies that show how doing so can help reduce tension and improve your mood. You can do this with any fragrant tea.
To literally wash away the tension and aches, why not dip into a warm bath to help you relax, especially before bed. The warmth of the water is said to gently widen your blood vessels and improve blood flow throughout your body.
If you don't have the time or luxury for that, I've also found that just soaking your feet in a cool pail of water helps if you've been on your feet all day. Adding some salts like Epsom salt really helps ease the ache, and a bit of essential oil can help you relax. It's even better if you can soak your legs up to your knees using a deep bucket.
Remember to moisturise your legs and feet after a long soak. Not only will the lotion moisturise but the rubbing and massage would further relax tired muscles. Everything will then be all right when you feel right because you've taken good care of yourself.
[The views expressed in this article are the writer's own.]
Putri Juneita Johari volunteers for the Special Children Society of Ampang. She can be reached at juneitajohari@yahoo.com.