YOU'D never believe that Alex Tan, a life coach and founder of his own consultancy, Avidity International, was once diagnosed with a brain tumour. He looks nothing like one. But then again, what does a brain tumour survivor look like?
Perhaps, and somewhat ignorantly, I'd somehow thought that brain tumour survivors would be sporting shaved heads or crew cuts, complete with scars on their heads from where they had been operated upon. Slurred speech, facial droops and affected comprehension also featured on my list.
But, looking at Alex, I couldn't see any tell-tale signs. With a head full of hair, he bore none of the signs of a scalp embattled with surgery scars and healed sutures.
Throughout the entire interview conducted via Zoom, Alex was eloquent, coherent and animated. Meanwhile, a quick glance at his social media posts showed him scuba diving and long-distance biking — the epitome of health and vitality.
I came to know Alex a few years ago. He used to be a member of the same Toastmasters Club as I was. He turned 42 this year but looks like he's in his early 30s. Hailing from Penang, he proudly proclaims to be a product of Penang Free School.
Serving as a scout during his formative years went a long way towards developing his leadership and networking skills, both of which had held him in good stead throughout his working life. He was a happy family man with a beautiful wife and daughter.
From time to time, I had caught sight of his posts about being a rare disorder survivor. But it was only recently that I decided to delve a little bit more into them. When I contacted Alex for an interview for his story, he didn't hesitate to agree.
NO SIGNS, NO SYMPTOMS
Prior to his diagnosis, there were no symptoms that sent alarm bells ringing. In fact, Alex's life was on an upward trajectory. He was in the prime of his life and everything was operating at an optimum level. Happily married with a young child, he had just set up his own coaching consultancy and had never felt fitter.
Proudly, he pointed to the time when he was scaling the heights of Mount Kinabalu as the defining moment of his journey. But, a month before his ascent up the iconic summit, he had begun to experience what he described as hazy vision, which he, at first, attributed to astigmatism. But it was only while scaling the summit that his vision noticeably deteriorated.
Solemnly, he recalled: "Imagine looking at a keyboard in front of you. Divide it into three sections. You can see the first and third sections clearly but for some reason, the middle section is very blurred and you cannot make out the keys. That's how it was."
He knew something was amiss and there was no way he could continue ignoring the signs. But initially, there was no cause for panic. Landing back in Kuala Lumpur, Alex decided to go and see an optician, thinking that he merely needed to change his glasses. He was told that nothing was wrong with him.
What he didn't know then was that the brain tumour was pressing against his optical nerve and that signals were not getting from his optic nerves to his brain. That was why his vision was "hazy".
The problem persisted, which led to a second visit. This time, he consulted a senior optician who advised him to see an eye specialist. That trip to the eye specialist led him to a neurosurgeon, who finally gave Alex the answer he was looking for.
It was not an eye problem, but a "brain" problem. A brain tumour, to be exact.
FINDING SOLUTIONS
"Don't go to the first person that people recommend," advised Alex, his tone earnest, and no doubt speaking from experience. Adding, he said: "Do your research. Educate yourself. Talk to surgeons, survivors, loved ones and friends."
A typical procedure for removing a brain tumour was a craniotomy, which involved drilling and removing a part of the skull. This was a highly invasive approach, which, understandably, Alex didn't favour.
His research led him to a neurosurgeon who worked using advanced techniques; a surgeon who utilised the endoscopic endonasal approach. This was less invasive as it allows for the removal of a brain tumour through the nose. It also meant no incisions and disfigurement to their skull or face. Furthermore, the recovery time was faster.
However, the surgery was not without risks.
On the other hand, opting out of surgery would almost certainly allow the tumour to grow over time. Eventually, it would compress his optic nerve and ultimately lead to blindness. Alex had pondered over how his life would be like if he went blind, and the impact it would have on his loved ones.
He knew that he would forever have to depend on others to help him with the simplest daily tasks and activities. His decision ultimately came down to going blind or dying. But once he made his decision, there was no turning back.
NEXT STEP
"When you've decided on a course of action, go all in. Commit to that decision. You cannot go in half-hearted. There's no room for doubts. Even the question 'what if I died on the operating table' points to you having doubts about your decision."
He decided to go ahead with the surgery.
Having chosen this option, Alex could only hope for the best. He believed that he was making the best decision for himself, based on the information he had and taking into consideration the factors that were within his control. In the end, it was about having faith.
In fact, in the months leading up to his surgery, he found himself consoling everyone around him, instead of the other way round. "If you want to feel better, think outwardly. When you're going through this, how do you want to be remembered?'
Those close to him were fretting and getting emotional but Alex, ever the positive one, was keeping them on an even keel and cheering them up. "It doesn't matter that you were wonderful for the 20 years of your life before. If you were miserable and a pain to be with in the last few months of your life, that is how people will remember you because that's their most recent memory of you," he mused thoughtfully.
And it was this reasoning that kept him going.
THE RECOVERY
It's hard for Alex to say how long his recovery took. However, he recalled that recovery was almost immediate before conceding that there were ramifications which continue to this day. Almost 75 per cent of his eyesight had returned after his surgery but post-surgery, he soon discovered that he would have to grapple with hypopituitarism and diabetes insipidus.
Hypopituitarism is a rare disorder that results in a deficiency of one or more hormones because your pituitary gland fails to produce, or doesn't produce enough hormones. It could result in a decrease in libido, impaired fertility, increased risk of developing osteoporosis, heart disease and stroke, to name a few. It also necessitated taking hormone replacements for the rest of his life.
Adding to the mix was diabetes insipidus that causes the body to make too much urine. Alex's daily routine requires him to take medication two to three times a day and drinking six to eight litres of water. He also has the urge to urinate a few times every hour.
Expression serious, Alex described it as a sort of heavy addiction to water. He affirmed that this was disruptive to his lifestyle but still, true to his nature, he chose only to look on the bright side. "Most people would ask 'why me?' when something bad happens to them. What you are doing is focusing on the past. But when you ask 'what now?' you're looking towards the future," he said, sagely.
SECOND CHANCE
Today, he's not only alive, but thriving. His consultancy continues to flourish and Alex continues to coach his clients to achieve success in their personal and professional lives. Most importantly, he has both his health and his eyesight.
Alex proudly described himself as a rare disorder survivor. The conditions that he now lives with are minor inconveniences in exchange for a second chance at life. "It's something that just happened to me. I'm fine with it," he stated matter-of-factly.
Post-surgery, he's living a life that's even more active than before he was diagnosed with a brain tumour. He strives to be the best version of himself and his mantra is "living life invigorated". Alex confided that he's on a mission to live life to the fullest — almost with a vengeance, even.
His life, he shared, is based on six core pillars: fitness, faith, faculty, family, finances and fun. This is a guy who leaves nothing to chance and manages all aspects of living a full life. His approach involves taking care of his physical body, maintaining spiritual faith, intellectual growth, cultivating relationships with closed ones, prudent money management and taking time out to indulge in his hobbies. These six pillars are essential to living a fulfilling life.
Not coincidentally, he subscribes to the same life philosophy that his role model, Sir Richard Branson, does. Alex quickly rattled off the things he admires about the business mogul: the fact that Branson is pushing past 70 but has amassed tremendous personal achievements which include going to space.
Even at the height of success, Branson is continually learning and challenging himself to do new things. Yet at the same time, he continues to be close to his mum and kids, and on top of it all, still knows how to have fun.
Ever the optimist, Alex has chosen to use his experience to help others. He has been contacted by a friend who'd just been diagnosed with a brain tumour. And suffice it to say, having gone through it all, Alex is in a great position to offer advice and support.
As our interview neared its end, Alex reiterated to me the importance of always looking on the bright side. Yet, he cautioned against misleading oneself into thinking that overcoming a major challenge in life means that everything would be smooth sailing after that. Life could still continue to throw you further challenges that you have to navigate.
"Life doesn't get easier. So, you just have to get stronger," he concluded, his smile wise.