Fresh starts can mean building a better version of yourself, writes Kerry-Ann Augustin
AWAL Muharram or Maal Hijrah is the beginning of the Islamic calendar and marks the migration of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) from Mecca to Medinah in 622AD.
The prophet’s journey was both literal and figurative.
A friend explained that Muslims all over the world welcome the new year with the pilgrimage of the mind and soul — they re-evaluate themselves and make resolutions to start anew and become better people.
This sacred day reminds us about the sense of renewal we seem so far away from: Social media has become the perfect petri dish for a culture of whiners.
There’s bound to be at least one person who pops up in your newsfeed who’s capable of drowning outpositivitywithinsidiousamounts of self-pity.
People hate their jobs, detest their lives and worse, make snide, sophomoric remarks about people who are doing what they love.
Have we forgotten that the change starts with us?
STUCK IN A RUT
“We feel stuck because we’ve allowed our minds to get jammed into a certain pattern of thinking,” writes Leslie Juvin-Acke, a life coach based in California.
“When we feel stuck in a rut, the rest of our lives suffer.
Eventually, we drudge through each day, thinking life has to be miserable, and any hope for change or relief is simply out of the question.” Juvin-Acke, whose clients include employees from large corporations suchastheWorldHealthOrganisation and hospitality institution Le Cordon Bleu, stresses that staying in the same mindset is a hindrance to our full potential and the feelings of jealousy and frustrations that come with it is a sign of the need to re-invent ourselves.
Sharon Good, a life coach and regular guest on radio and TV in the United States, explains that the rut may be conceived out of paths we were pushed into as children or simply, a loss of passion.
Sometimes, it can be born out of pure boredom with the routine life.
But how will you know when you’re in need for that change? “You may have the need to overcome great hardship, to prove yourself to yourself or others or you may need to live a better life.
Marriage, divorce, separation, addiction, cancer, near death, new job, failing business and bankruptcy can all facilitate swift change in one’s mindset,” says Jim Fannin, author of S.C.O.R.E For Life, in an article for business, portal The Art of Marketing.
“Reinvention usually comes from immediate need.”
Remy Chausse, author of Get UNstuck — How To Get Out Of Status Quo And Get Past Go (In Under 30 Days)!, states in her website that detangling yourself from the knots of life starts with noticing the signs: Starting every sentence with “I can’t”, having low self-esteem, being constantly pessimistic, the i n a b i l i t y t o imagine doing s o m e t h i n g exciting or having a lack of clarity in what you want or where you want to go in life.
Even the smallest issues become complicated.
ART OF REINVENTION
Good herself became a life coach after she found the need for new experiences.
“When I quit acting after 25 years, it hit me that it wasn’t just about not going to auditions or subscribing to BackStage anymore,” she writes on her blog, recalling the moment of realisation.
“It also meant that I needed to redefine who I’d been since the age of 14.” Shedding your perceived identity could be a start, says Dr Matthew B.
James , author of Find Your Purpose, Master Your Path.
“As human beings, we’re quick to identify o u r s e l v e s u s i n g o u r circumstances; h o w o t h e r s perceive us, our behaviours, and/or our positions in life.
It’ssomehowcomforting to clothe ourselves in these identities.” Headdsthatidentitiestendtolimit our capability of doing something completely different.
But breaking the mould and bringing back a zest to your life starts with change.
“The difference between dreams and wishes is that dreams require hard work,” says Helen Selenati, a marriage and family therapist.
“To find out what makes you come alive you only need to look at occasions in your past when you were passionate about something.
But first, be clear about your purpose.” James Clear, an entrepreneur, cites novelist Tom Clancy as an example of that purpose.
Clancy spent 20 years in the insurance industry, but took a bold step by leaving the familiar to follow a passion: Writing.
He went on to write 17 novels which became #1 New York Times bestsellers.
“Nobody wants to feel stupid and start from the beginning all over again.
But talent isn’t worth a thing without the willingness to take action.
It’s great to have a dream, but it’s better to pursue it,” says Clear.
It’s never too late to start anew.
But like everything else, the pilgrimage of the mind is a lot like Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) journey.
It requires time, sacrifice and good intentions.
GET A FRESH START
REDEFINING yourself can come in various forms.
Here are some of the things you can do get a fresh start in life.
TRAVEL
In a recent survey conducted by travel portal TripAdvisor, 66 per cent of Malaysians list “enhancing perspectives” as main motivations for travelling.
As a result of being exposed to various cultures and learning about different histories, most say they have become more open-minded and tolerant individuals.
VOLUNTEER
Through volunteer work you meet groups of people outside of your normal social circle, allowing you to make connections to causes that may really matter to you.
Duke University and the National University Of Singapore ran a study in 2012 that showed volunteer work gives you a greater sense of purpose.
FAIL AND FACE FEARS
Put an end to “what if” questions in your head.
Risk is always accompanied with the possibility of failure — moving forward is about taking that leap of faith and learning from your mistakes.
DREAM AND PLAN
Art Markman, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas, took 10 years to learn the saxophone and join a band, a dream of his.
He encourages people to ask themselves “What will I regret not having done?” Ask yourself questions, think about your vision and start working on it even if it takes years to achieve your goals.