IN a strange but not perverse way, I missed the fella. The gifts of underwear, socks or hankies from him have all come to a stop. Ian, my friend, has also stopped wishing me “Happy Birthday”.
The last time he did was four years ago. I will never forget that day. Ian, who has a child-like fixation for birthdays, came all the way to my office to give me a box of men’s underwear, bought probably from Petaling Street or some pasar malam. But, it contained only three pairs of underwear, while the two other pairs were missing, presumably for Ian’s own use.
I would never, for the life of me, call Ian a cheapskate. In fact, he has a priceless quality — the spirit of sharing and giving — which is so rare in today’s increasingly self-serving world. He is the type who would give me half his bread if both of us were starving.
Sadly, I haven’t heard from Ian for quite a while. Maybe, he has gone senile, maybe he has forgotten my birthday, maybe he has lost that little old “555” book that contained his friends’ dates of birth.
I guess I must bear in mind that my 73-year-old friend, like many of his generation, is a man of the old ways — not so hands-on with a smartphone or Facebook.
Ian, like they say, is “so yesterday”, so disconnected with his friends who have gone far ahead on Jalan Cyber.
Consequently and conspicuously, Ian was not among those who wished me on my 54th birthday last week. Though my favourite well-wisher wasn’t around, I still got the most number of birthday wishes in my life — from more than 50 people, via Facebook and
WhatsApp. What a day.
Nowadays, technology won’t let you forget your relatives’ or friends’ birthdays, as inevitably, the “alerts” or “reminders” will come to you via Facebook, emails or other social networking sites. Remembering everybody’s birthday seems to be part of everyday life.
And, I don’t have to worry about forgetting my missus’ birthday. In pre-Facebook days, when I was preoccupied with work, I forgot her birthday twice, and she was so furious that she made me wish I was never born.
I do appreciate the birthday wishes, even if they are the standard one-liners from friends and acquaintances. After all, these are sent with some thought and a sense of friendship, not some spammy stuff or programmed messages.
It is nice to be remembered and for their recognition each and every one of the senders is deserving of a “thank you” personal reply.
It is all right if you don’t want to reply to unsolicited birthday wishes from people you do not know, and you don’t have to reply to banks, insurance companies and others that offer you “Special Birthday Discounts” to buy their products.
As it can be quite a handful to reply individually to a barrage of birthday wishes, especially when you are busy at work, someone told me not to respond, but wait until 10pm that day before posting a “Thank you to you all” message on Facebook. But, I think such an approach is not proper. Birthday wishes, whether conveniently sent via Facebook or WhatsApp, are still sincere gestures, and thus, they merit a sincere reply.
Many people lead hectic lives and wish for more than 24 hours in a day. For them to take a minute or more of their time to text you must really amount to some goodwill. It is the thought that counts, never mind that it doesn’t cost the well-wishers a sen, never mind that I don’t get a single birthday card from the postman, never mind that I don’t get an old-fashioned phone call, never mind that I don’t get a single SMS, which may cost a few sen.
However, nothing beats getting a box of underwear and a real birthday card in cursive writing from good old Ian. Maybe, he will surprise me next year.
But, we have to face reality. Facebook and the birth of other technological wonders will deliver our greetings and best wishes. If necessity is the mother of invention, convenience comes first.
To New Straits Times readers out there celebrating their birthdays today, a “Happy Birthday” to you all.