LETZHOP Damansara kindergarten principal Sarini Bujang says special needs children are more susceptible to sexual abuse, and thus, need to be educated on sex even more.
“Parents should be the children’s primary educators. There also needs to be engagement and cooperation from the children’s support system, especially teachers, therapists and extended family, and the natural environment.
“For children with severe disabilities who are unable to take care of themselves or make decisions independently, such as my daughter, it’s crucial to have a trustworthy caregiver who will teach sex education — what’s appropriate and what’s not. The caregiver will be the children’s ‘voice’ and decision-maker.”
Without a secure support system, there is the risk of children being abused, says Sarini, whose 10-year-old daughter has cerebral palsy.
“It’s crucial, I would even say, it’s a right, for kids to have a secure support system, so that they can thrive in a supportive and safe environment.
“The best way to address sex to special needs children is to broach the subject just like we would with other kids their age. I believe in inclusion and treating special needs kids equally as we would their peers, as it’s fundamental to their growth.
“Special needs children can be taught via social stories, role-playing and engaging conversations. Label body parts when using visual materials, and use family photographs, for example, to illustrate the different relationships between people.
“Most importantly, be honest when addressing a child’s questions. It’s our duty to address kids honestly and patiently.
“We may think that special needs children don’t have sexual desires or the ability to have such desires because they’re dependent on us and are child-like in behaviour, but they’re human beings.
“Like all children, they need their parents to be their primary caregivers, educators and advocates.
“Always equip yourselves with knowledge, so that you can teach them. Use ‘teachable moments’ in your life as an opportunity to share information with the kids.”
KIN & KiDS Marriage, Family and Child Therapy Centre clinical psychologist Sharlene Teo concurs with Sarini’s views.
“The challenge with teaching sexual health to special needs kids, especially those with intellectual disabilities, is that they may have difficulty with abstract thinking.
“Start with the basics. Use accurate language when describing body parts and bodily functions.
“Teach them what private body parts are and what aren’t, what private and public behaviours are, and the differences between ‘safe’ and ‘bad’ touch.
“It is helpful to use visual materials, such as photographs, pictures and videos, to help the children understand better. Teach them that they have the right to refuse unwanted and bad touch.
“It’s helpful to talk about the topic using concrete and contextual examples. For instance, nobody can see your private parts besides mum and dad, a caregiver, or a doctor and nurse when they help clean you or check on you if you’re hurt there. This is allowed only when they have your permission.”