DOMESTIC violence usually conjures up an image of an angry drunken man towering over a crying, helpless woman, who is the victim of a vicious attack. It is true that many women in Malaysia do live in stormy relationships as exemplified by this scenario but, the reality is, local men also have to deal with domestic abuse at the hands of women. Shame, however, prevents them from talking about their plight openly, much less report it to the authorities. The alternative is silence, since men are expected to be able to deal with such issues. That is why discussions about domestic violence often focus on female victims. People tend to forget that men are also susceptible to spousal battery mainly because society considers the idea of a wife battering her husband as shameful, strange and even amusing. “Many men fear that if they start to speak up about being abused, they will be the subject of ridicule and tarred and feathered as henpecked husbands unable to stand up for themselves,” as Dr Nicole Chen Lee Peng, a lecturer at the Psychology Division of International Medical University, puts it.
Violence against men in Malaysian society is not as widespread as that involving women, if the statistics are any indication, but the problem is real indeed. Chen, a former social worker with non-governmental organisation All Women’s Action Society, found that three per cent of domestic violence cases she handled then involved abuse against men. Today, she notes a jump in the number of reported cases compared to a decade ago, which means that more men are starting to speak up and expressing a willingness get out of toxic relationships. Police statistics reveal 1,270 reported cases of domestic abuse against men last year, compared with 651 in 2010.
While the numbers show a rise in maltreatment against men, they may not tell the whole story. A rise in reporting of male victims may not equate to an increase in actual cases on the ground. Accurate statistics are hard to come by, especially in a country where social taboos keep many victims tight-lipped. Maybe those who had made the reports were aware of their rights and were inclined to accept the fact that domestic violence is a crime. Another point to note is that the overwhelming majority of abusers (even of men in reported cases) are still men. The categorisation of domestic abuse in Malaysia is not only between intimate partners/spouses, even though that is the most common scenario (approximately 50 per cent of the cases), but also between other family members. Domestic abuse against men can range from actual violence to threats of ill-treatment and emotional cruelty.
We cannot condone any behaviour that harms men, women and children. Fortunately, the Women, Family and Community Development Ministry is open to addressing the concerns of both genders. This calls for deliberate efforts to create awareness and encourage men to talk about their abusive wives or partners. Male victims need a voice to raise the public profile of their predicament, besides requiring support services and counselling centres.