OF late, we’ve been hearing too many cases of sexual abuse and reading about incidents of rape on an almost daily basis in the media. As a woman, I dread to think about the chances of ending up as a victim myself. I fear just imagining how scary it would be for my family and friends should they have to face a state of such powerlessness. I cringe at the very thought that one day my future daughter will have to think twice about even stepping out of our home because of the high risk of getting raped.
The problem lies not just with one individual, or a few men. It lies with society as a whole. It lies with every one of us playing a part in creating this “rape culture”.
For a long time, I refused to see it that way. Being a self-proclaimed eternal optimist, I didn’t want to admit that, to a certain extent, all of us played a part in creating this mess, in creating this horrible situation we all have found ourselves in.
I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed recently and came across an awfully disturbing post that some friends had shared. In them were two separate photos of two young women wearing short shorts and a top, both presumably taken from inside a moving train.
I personally thought nothing much of the photos, as I am quite used to seeing young girls dress as such, either when out with their friends or heading to college. What perturbed me was the atrocious comments on the post.
Some comments bluntly said that they “deserved” and were “asking” to be raped. Some mentioned that if they were to be raped, they shouldn’t blame the rapists, because the girls were dressed in such a way that they “wanted” to end up as victims. Some even voiced out the fact that it was only “instinctive” for men to molest or rape a woman who shows off some skin, hence the blame should be entirely on women for “enticing” the men.
I was left flabbergasted. For a moment, I couldn’t believe what I was reading. For a moment, I thought that this must be some sort of sick joke.
For a moment, I lost all faith in humanity.
It breaks my heart that there are so many people out there who still think that rape is something that’s taken so lightly. It pains me to think that the fault of such a repulsive act lies with the victim, and not the perpetrator.
This vile, misogynistic view of how rape is something that is asked for by or deserving towards women in general perplexes me. Where did we go wrong with our understanding of what truly is the underlying problem here?
The way I see it, it’s entirely the way we have been raised. Women are taught to dress appropriately in order to avoid getting raped. Women are taught to be careful whenever they step out of their homes because it might open doors for them to be sexually assaulted.
My question here is simple: why the lopsided sense of education? Why aren’t men taught to control their urges and act responsibly when around women in general, instead? Why aren’t men brought up to respect women and made to understand that rape is wrong on all levels, instead?
Basically, it all boils down to one problem: ignorance.
People need to understand that it’s not the way a woman is dressed that makes her a “deserving” victim of rape. A woman can be dressed in a bikini and get raped. A woman can be dressed in a burqah and still end up getting raped.
It all comes down to the fact that society lacks education concerning this particular matter. Only with proper sex and human rights education will we one day be able to live in a society where women will not need to fear being a victim and/or blamed or punished for getting raped. Only then will we be able to live in a world where respect is something that is given, and not forced upon.
Ashley Greig, a lecturer at Sunway College, is a Malaysian-born Eurasian with
Scottish/Japanese/Indian lineage. She believes in a tomorrow where there is no racism and hatred