I HAVE been thinking a lot lately about how much time I spend on social media. Like almost all millennials, I was obsessed with Instagram. I spent half my day scrolling aimlessly through my feed and “stalking” random people I found on my Discover page.
If I had a spare minute, I’d tap on the purple icon. While I waited for a meeting to start, I’d like friends’ photos. In between conversations, I’d check my messages. I even went on Instagram while in the bathroom (don’t judge — you ALL do it).
The dependency got too extreme. I became obsessed with checking how many likes my photos got and if anyone left me a comment. I would exit out of the app, just to click on it again — who does that!?
I realised that scrolling through Instagram was a waste of my life. I will never get those 20 minutes back and looking at what people ate for lunch or wore last night had no impact whatsoever on my life!
I started reflecting on my early days on Instagram when I barely had 50 followers (all of whom were people I actually knew in real life!) and getting an emoticon comment made my day.
I used to anxiously wait for the number of “likers” to be enough so it would go from their actual names and turn into a number.
You only needed 10 people to like your photo for it to turn into a number, I used to have to wait for days for this to happen. Those were the happiest moments!
A few weeks ago, I watched Ed Sheeran do an interview on his new album (disclaimer — along with being the biggest Swiftie on the planet, I am also Team Sheeran for 4eva).
He talked about how he didn’t have a phone and wasn’t on social media for a year. His life sounded simpler and more “real”. Interesting thought.
Without even thinking, I whipped my phone out and deleted my Instagram app. I went full-out cold turkey and just left.
NO ACCESS
My account was still there, I still existed in the “InstaUniverse” — I just had no means of accessing it.
I thought I would feel lost and confused, perhaps even a bit naked without my means of looking into other people’s worlds. But none of those feelings came to me. This might sound a bit dramatic, but I instantly felt lighter and free.
Now there was a little hole in my phone screen where the little purple app was. I downloaded the BBC News app and figured if I were to scroll through something, it might as well be the news so I can stay informed #worldcitizen.
For the next two weeks at work, I shared interesting and random news stories over lunch with the FV gang.
I decided to take it one step further and deleted the “Read” feature on WhatsApp so senders couldn’t see if I had read their texts. No more blue tick from Iman!
Even WhatsApp was becoming somewhat stressful. I receive all kinds of texts from all kinds of people asking for all kinds of requests — and I have to respond to all of them.
I take it as my work responsibility and always try to get back to people on time. However, it can get overwhelming, especially when the sender can see that I’ve read their message.
Every second that their request remained unanswered, it ate away at my conscience. I had such a sense of relief when I finally didn’t have to constantly answer people right away.
I was blue-tick free for roughly a week when I realised that it made sense work-wise to have it visible. Girlboss highly agreed with this.
But I stuck to my guns about Instagram. I only went on it once to post my plane and passport flatlay of our trip to London because #tradition.
During my time away from Instagram I discovered a few poignant things that
I wanted to share.
NOT YOUR LIFE
Firstly, please understand that social media is not and should never be your Life.
Yes, there are some people that run their businesses and gain success with the help of social media, but they have another world that they do not show you on those tiny squares. It is never what it seems and to strive for a certain level of seeming “perfection” will take a lot out of you.
I’ve taken OOTD photos against a really gorgeous wall, but what you didn’t see was the homeless man three metres who was sleeping on the ground.
I’ve posted cute relationship photos of my husband and I
while we’re in the middle of a fight just because I had nothing else to put up that day.
Secondly, you are not defined by how many followers you have, how many likes you get on a photo or what kind of filter you decide to use.
You are defined by the way you treat others, the words you use to express your thoughts, your manners, the goals you’re striving for and the heart that you share with the world.
You and I are so much more than scrolling through our feeds, re-watching your own instastory and creeping through pages of people we will never meet in real life.
Take a day away from social media and discover the things around you. I’ve had longer conversations with friends, read more often and have been more efficient at work. There is so much I’ve done with the time I would have otherwise spent “stalking”.
Lastly, social media is not representative of what you live every day.
While I was gone from Instagram, I received so many comments and messages asking me where I was, what happened to me, if I was okay and if something was wrong. Little did everyone know I was doing what I regularly do every day!
I had a work trip to London (I ran 11km to Buckingham Palace and back! #personalvictory) and lived every day like I normally would. I just chose to not share it.
This experience was a refreshing shift in my social media habits. I am back on Instagram now, but I’ve learned to scroll less, decided to put up more quality and meaningful posts and live my life outside the squares.
As assistant to fashion icon Vivy Yusof, journalism graduate Iman Azman finds herself thrown deep into the fashion world, a universe once foreign to her. Here, she muses about her work, finding balance in life and shares what it’s like having a front row seat in the fashion industry. Follow her journey on Instagram @iman_azman