KUALA LUMPUR: "I once felt life has no direction, no friends to spend time with, no beautiful social life and no charming appearance like others on social media," shares Ani (not her real name), 21, who is trapped in a "digital" depression.
She frequently feels the urge to compare herself with others on social media.
Excessive digital usage has made her feel less confident, isolated and unmotivated in life.
Hailing from a northern state, Ani said she always felt jealous and inferior when seeing the lives and daily activities of others, especially what her friends showcased on social media like Facebook and Instagram.
"I feel insecure seeing people on social media. To me, they have a much better life than me, even having a beautiful appearance even though I know sometimes it's just filters.
"Furthermore, seeing other successful friends pursuing higher education with good results also makes me feel less confident and sad.
"I try not to be so negative and turn it into healthy competition and a motivation to study. But I couldn't… I will feel down until I deactivate my social media account," she told Harian Metro recently.
She admitted that her excessive digital usage, up to seven to eight hours a day, had become more serious after finishing school and studying at a private university.
She said she doesn't deny being easily influenced by stories and trends on social media, even though people say she's too emotional and unable to control herself.
But for her, "battling" her own feelings and emotions isn't easy.
"I browse the Internet every day, especially Instagram, and my smartphone is rarely away from me. Actually, I try not to compare my life with others, but it's difficult.
"Eventually, I wonder why my life isn't as beautiful as theirs. At this point, I'm trying to help myself in the only way I know, by limiting my digital usage and being less active on social media.
"Nowadays, I only use the Internet to get information or news. I spend a lot of time on other activities like reading and playing badminton, even though it was very difficult at first.
"I use the knowledge in counselling that I learned at university to help myself so I can find happiness in my own way," she said.
Ani has been suffering from depression since 14. Family conflicts, the feeling of being unappreciated, financial problems and having no one to talk to often made her feel extremely pressured and sad.
Her condition worsened when she fell into depression after frequently comparing herself with the seemingly happier lives of others on social media.
The worst-case scenario came when she contemplated suicide because she felt it would be better if she was not in this world, and that others would be happier without her.
Now Ani is currently unemployed and still waiting for the opportunity to continue her education.
"On social media, many portray their lives as harmonious, happy and beautiful, not only with their families, but also with friends. They frequently go out, chat and spend time engaging in fun activities together.
"I don't have any of that… I don't have friends like that, and even my family members have their own lives. Our relationship isn't like other families.
"Despite being the youngest child, I'm not spoiled. But the way I was treated isn't like other youngest children. I feel unappreciated," she said.