A FEW weeks ago, I got my first angry letter from my super upset 5-year-old son, who had expressed his anger through his drawing.
And, yes, I was actually impressed at how he managed to interpret such an abstract feeling like anger by merely using stick figures.
Instead of yelling or bawling, he embraced the power of expressive art to show how he felt. He just loves to draw the gamut of emotions he is experiencing.
On Tuesday, my son gave me a love letter — he drew a big heart which he neatly coloured red and a flower with red, green and yellow hues. “Look ummi (mother in Arabic), I colour them nicely and no mess,” he declared with all the pride a five-year-old could muster.
The sweet gesture reminded me of Faith Salie’s article in Time magazine recently, “How to Raise a Sweet Son in an Era of Angry Men”.
Salie, who is the author of the book, Approval Junkie, raised a pertinent issue here, because we have to stop the tide of anger, cascading mercilessly on modern society nowadays.
Salie’s powerful words hit a chord in me. She said: “Sweet boys grow up to be men who recognise the strength in being vulnerable and empathetic. Men who aren’t threatened by criticism or perceived competition from people whom they deem ‘others’ — be it skin colour, sexual orientation, religion, education or whatever. Sweet boys are children who’ve been given, by their parents and wider society, the permission to feel everything and to express those emotions without shame.”
Through these words, Salie described exactly what our society needs nowadays. She also highlighted how anger could affect both women and men. In her words: “Today’s angriest women galvanise. Today’s angriest men murder.”
Of late, anger seems to have a firm hold on the world, from the mass shootings in the United States to terrorist attacks in various countries. I have raised before the need to have a good anger management system, which can be introduced to our children while they are in schools. Based on what I see nowadays, it is no longer possible to ignore the need to have such a system.
Anger has cast aside common decency, resulting in heinous actions against fellow human beings. Road rage, murder, abuse and unrest are among the outcomes of anger.
In addition, experts are saying anger can influence one’s health too as it can lead to hypertension, stress and cardiovascular disease.
Studies show that the high level of anger related to stress in young men is likely to raise the “risk of subsequent premature cardiovascular disease, particularly myocardial infarction” or the common heart attack.
I believe those in Putrajaya have realised the danger of anger. Perhaps, the relentless call by the government for all to adopt the concept of wasatiyyah or moderation is an indirect way to address anger issues.
Salie suggested that parents should invite their sons to be “sad, afraid, hurt, silly and affectionate” and snuggle with them as often they did with their daughters.
“Sweet boys learn early on that they can defend themselves against loneliness by reaching out and asking for support rather than turning into people, who literally grab for power.” She added that a man raised with access to the same gamut of emotions and choices as women do, would not define himself through anger, lust and pride.
“Boys will not merely be boys. If we let them, boys will be human,” Salie said.
As the general election is just around the corner, the anger barometer is set to hit atmospheric levels. Why so, you may ask?
After going through four general elections, I have seen the ugly side of anger from infuriated men and women who did not make the cut to become candidates. Not only are candidate wannabes angry, their supporters are equally mad too. How about the voters? Of course, there will be those who are “unhappy”.
When voters are upset, their actions on polling day will reflect clearly, ranging from casting a spoilt vote to a no-show. It looks like many of us have to learn to take the “chill pill”.
I will take mine shortly since Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak wants 2018 to be a year of success and impressive results. For such results to happen, the pace set by those in Putrajaya will certainly be intense. Looks like it will be another busy year for Putrajaya.
On second thought, I should up the dose on the chill pill to relax.
With more than 15 years in journalism and a masters in Counselling Psychology, the writer is always drawn to the mystery of the human mind and behaviour