SO, it’s that time again when many mad men and an ever-growing number of mad women start to lose sleep.
They will be walking around like zombies, unsure of neither date nor time, falling asleep at their workstations, looking like they had walked in to work after having just competed in a triathlon. Or, worse yet, not get to work at all, taking medical or emergency leave, hitherto unheard of uncles and aunts being sick or may even have kicked the bucket.
It’s that time when the names of certain countries are mentioned more often, when fights break out over these countries, and not because of any really important issues affecting them. In our own beloved country, the euphoria that has lasted for over a month since the 14th General Election may now take a little bit of a backseat for four weeks or so.
It’s that time again, when every four years or so, the football-mad globe watches as a group of nations battle it out at the Fifa World Cup. All eyes this time around are on Russia, where 32 countries try to win the ultimate prize in the “beautiful game”, whether you call the sport football or soccer.
This is a big thing, the biggest thing. There is no bigger honour for a footballer than to win the World Cup, to hold aloft that storied gold trophy and follow in the footsteps of legends such as Argentina’s Diego Maradona and Brazil’s Pele, who are arguably the biggest names in world footballing history.
But, it’s not just so for the players. Football fans the world over are known for their fanaticism. How else do you explain that group in Argentina which has, literally, deified Maradona?
Levels of fanaticism, of course, vary from person to person. The Maradona-as-god followers can perhaps be considered one extreme of the spectrum. But there are many levels of the spectrum as well.
Close to the top of the line are those who get so upset over the game that they are willing to commit murder. The most infamous example of this was the case of Colombian international Andres Escobar, a defender for his national team.
In the 1994 World Cup in the United States, Escobar stretched to block a cross by an American player, inadvertently deflecting the ball into his own net. Colombia was eliminated from the World Cup.
On July 2, 1994, five days after the elimination of Colombia, the player nicknamed “The Gentleman” for his clean style of play, was in his car at a parking lot at a nightclub in Medellin when three men walked up to him and started arguing with him.
Escobar was shot six times, with the killer reportedly shouting “Goal!” after each shot. Apparently, six was the number of times the man had heard the commentator during the US-Colombia match shout “Goal!” when poor Escobar scored that unfortunate own goal.
The vast majority of football fans, though, will neither start fights nor commit murder. They will just lose a lot of sleep and may be a little grumpy when awake, if you can call it that. Really, their eyes may be open, but they exist in somewhat of an ethereal plane which comes about every four years, or two if you are also into the European Championships.
Of course, there are those who will take a whole month off for the World Cup, so they can spend their days like vampires — sleeping during the day and waking up only at night. But for most of us who can’t afford to waste our annual leave days, the red-eyed, unshaven, homeless chic look will be the order of the day.
Try not to disturb them. Just let them be. Or provide loads of coffee as this would be very much appreciated, considering there is no such thing as caffeine drips. Not yet anyway.
And, try not to plan any family get-together or functions.
There was once a wedding which took place as one Euro Championship was being held, the bride and groom apparently not being football fans. As 10pm rolled around, there suddenly seemed to be a distinct lack of testosterone in the hall.
Many of the men had, in fact, made their way to a bar in the hotel where the dinner reception was being held to watch the night’s first match. Those who had their wife’s or girlfriend’s blessings stayed to watch till the end. Those who didn’t... well, their bladders seemed to have been particularly small that night.
Two years later, a couple who had been present at that particular wedding decided they would need to take into account the fact that the World Cup was being held that year and plan around it. So, the wedding was held towards the end of July, well after the end of the World Cup (giving time for the zombies to catch up on their sleep), but before the beginning of the English Premier League season (also another important thing to consider as you don’t want the possibility of your function clashing with a Manchester United-Liverpool match!).
To our better halves, forgive us. It’s only for a month. The grumpiness and all-round madness eventually fade away.
The writer has more than two decades of experience, much of which has been spent writing about crime and the military. A die-hard Red Devil, he can usually be found wearing a Manchester United jersey when outside of work