I get annoyed when I come in contact with people who do not show proper interest in what they do.
Have you had these types of experiences?
Like the restaurateur who makes you feel like you are not welcome at their eatery simply because they cannot be bothered to greet you with a welcoming smile; or the receptionist who speaks with disdain when you make an inquiry; or the doctor who doesn’t have the forbearance to explain complex medical problems to you, because they are in rush to get you out of the door.
If you want to grow in your career, you have to learn to communicate effectively, and to show interest.
One of the fundamental traits of someone who shows interest is that they can listen actively. Active listening is not just “listening” or “paying attention”, which is merely receiving information from another person without giving them feedback.
When you practice active listening, you respond to the speaker with verbal and nonverbal signs to show that you are paying attention, but also that you care actually about what they are saying, in contrast to simply listening, because it is the polite thing to do.
The next important thing to remember when you want to show interest is that in all your communication, written or verbal, first time or repeated, make it a point to use a person’s name.
In Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” he wrote, “If you want to win friends, make it a point to remember them. If you remember my name, you pay me a subtle compliment; you indicate that I have made an impression on you. Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance.”
Whether you meet a person for the first time or the tenth time, you have an opportunity to make a positive impression on them. Use their name, look them in the eyes with warmth and authenticity, and offer them a friendly greeting.
Next, show respect when communicating.
When you show people respect, your actions express your interest in them. Think about it. When people show you respect, how does it make you feel about them? On the other hand when people don’t show you respect, how do you feel about them?
Respect also indicates that you recognise their value and importance. This increases connections with them.
Many people I meet through the course of my work underestimate the value of showing interest to others through their communication.
Earlier this week I had a consultation with a doctor who specialises in total wellness. I had done blood tests about ten days earlier, and I had been given a schedule for a one hour session with the treating doctor.
Eventually, I spent more than two hours at that consultation.
Aside from the sound medical advice I received from Dr. Kuljit Singh, what amazed me most was his impeccable communication skills. The consultation was an opportunity for him to understand my problems as well as appreciate the psychosocial bearings of how I conduct my life.
And, he did this with so much grace and interest.
Right up front, he informed me that simply writing a prescription for me has no real value, and was in fact a waste of time and energy, unless I was able to honour a treatment plan.
His excellent communication skills were useful in allaying my anxieties, and encouraging me for good compliance, regarding his medical advice.
I saw that he paid attention to both the verbal and non-verbal clues from me, and explored any discrepancy between the two by probing me. At the same time, he was also conscious of his own non-verbal clues like body language, gestures, and eye-contact, as I responded to his feedback.
In the course of the consultation, he provided me with in-depth information on what I wanted to know, and he responded promptly and honestly to my questions.
As we discussed a treatment plan for my health and wellness, he made sure he involved me in the decision making. I also noticed that he was actually interested in ensuring that the plan worked with my understanding, beliefs, cultural values, and concerns.
He spoke with me in simple language, took the trouble to draw diagrams for me, and when he used any medical jargon or abbreviations, he made sure that he translated them, so I could comprehend.
The most impressive part of the session was the effort he put into motivating me to adhere to lifestyle modifications.
This doctor showed that one of the keys, if not the most important one, to building successful relationships is your ability to show a sincere interest, both in the person, and to the things that are important, to that person.
If you want to grow in your career, you must forge good relationships with other people. And, you will be successful, if like Dr. Kuljit Singh, you communicate effectively, and show interest in others.
Shankar R. Santhiram is managing consultant and executive leadership coach at EQTD Consulting. He is also the author of the national bestseller “So, You Want To Get Promoted?”