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To fight anxiety and lead a good life, let's tame that imaginary shrew

She sits there sulking and scheming, ready to nag, poised to strike.

The shrew, epitomised by Shakespeare, is not a figment of the imagination, nor a relic of the past, but a constant companion for many of us, even if we are not wedded to one.

She is far worse than a cantankerous spouse might ever be.

"Overthinking", that "malady" which the much-maligned millennial is supposed to be suffering from, is a term that has its origins in the early 19th century.

It might be better known as "anticipatory anxiety", and the implications of this are disturbing.

It does not simply mean that a state of anxiousness prevails about the current state of mind, but the tendency to plan too much ahead and then worry about the outcome of these projections.

Type A personalities would by default be more at risk from this, but the climate of the day has made even less driven individuals stress out, and the shrew seems to be always working overtime.

This is responsible for a slew of mental and physical health problems that cut across gender and socio-economic groups.

There is this pressure to surge ahead in life, to compete with others (and us) and to always plan ahead.

This is because we are terrified of the unknown and the unplanned.

From chronic headache to insomnia to depression to acid peptic disease — the list is endless.

We give ourselves up to doom forgetting that the world would go on despite us and our petty plans.

It is as if we invite our own doom by trying to fit everything into the optimum state of being.

We usually have a plan B for things that might go wrong.

Instead, a better way to live might be to turn the tables on this imaginary shrew, to tame that voice that tells us to be productive and plan our lives more meaningfully.

We could just sit back, not obsess about this and that, look on our world with joy and wonder, and take solace in the fact that there is a greater power, a higher calling, that we must abdicate to.

How do we achieve this?

First, sort through the muddle in your head, that is, the things that bother you the most.

If need be, write them down.

Second, appreciate whatever good habits you have, such as healthy eating patterns, early bedtimes or exercise.

A lot of these would mean that you are a better person for yourself and those around you, and this is not something that should be underestimated.

Make your good habits your lifestyle and your identity, and an example for others.

Third, practise the above two practices. They will lead to a state of wellbeing for the most part and are pivotal to good health being restored.

We cannot just read about how to lead a good life. We must lead it in practice.

Fourth, with good lifestyle in place, and our health restored to normalcy, you can now execute the higher function of planning for the future, without falling prey to anticipatory anxiety.

But do not drive yourself insane fearing bad outcomes.

You know that whatever they may be, you can handle them. Nothing could be more damning for the shrew, right?

Fifth, accept that life is a series of ups and downs, and the good cannot exist without the bad.

Happiness cannot exist without despair. Colour is that much more vibrant where there are shades in between.

Allow yourselves the low points, the moments just meant for being in the moment without consideration to whether it is a useful thing or not.

These are the moments where we do not think, but simply feel.

And even if we do not feel good, we are good with it. Nothing upsets the shrew more than indifference.


The writer is senior associate professor, ENT Unit, AIMST University

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