I HAVE a contrasting view of fear with Yoda, the fictitious character in Star Wars. Yoda believes fear is the path to the dark side and leads to anger, which then leads to hate and, ultimately, suffering. I disagree. Fear is like fire; it can be understood and used for good.
Before my son could speak, I observed that he internalised the concept of fear. The fear of his mother getting out of his sight was enough for him to react and scream. The concept closely resembles the definition in dictionary.com: “A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc. whether the threat is real or imagined.”
There is a belief that public speaking is the No. 1 fear; even more than death. This could be true for some in a certain environment, but not for everyone because fear is something learnt and instinctively developed to protect ourselves from harm.
It is easier to say that you fear public speaking more than death when you are in a safe environment. However, when you are in a “helpless” situation, you will start to rely on a higher power. For example, if you were a passenger on a flight that had suffered an engine failure and had to make an emergency landing, you would possibly say a prayer for safety. Another example: while driving on the highway, there is a sudden downpour. You would pray because of poor visibility.
Fear changes you. It did for me. I had experienced a situation where I felt helpless and had to rely on others. I just prayed that everything went well.
I was working on an offshore installation project and was holding a data cable connected to a huge steel pile being lifted above me. The steel pile could have easily flattened me had the wires supporting it snapped.
In that situation, I felt a genuine fear and vowed to be a better person if I survived.
Another example: a heavy smoker who just survived a heart attack. The near-death experience means he would have to stop smoking immediately. But, with familiarity and time, that fear subsides and one forgets, and the habit returns.
Change takes time to be internalised and causes one to act out of his comfort zone. My instinct, for instance, wants me to achieve short-term happiness while my reasonable self insists on some discomfort to achieve long-term happiness.
Long-term happiness is what we should aim to achieve. It is well documented in old and new literature on self-improvement. In terms of career, it is stated that a person who writes down his career goals tends to get a higher salary after a number of years by a significant percentage.
This is present in most religions, where there is a concept of the next life. It is the ultimate long-term goal, which is determined by the willingness to suffer in this life by living moderately.
Yes, we are only human and tend to fall back on our habits, but we should always strive to be better. We should not accept that we forget and, therefore, we are doomed.
We can change the environment we are in so that we are constantly reminded. We can also learn and be inspired from everyday occurrences.
Many influential people who have succeeded have shared their experience in their autobiographies. The 100; A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History by Michael H. Hart, for instance, provides an interesting read. There are also many historical books to refer to.
We have to consciously reflect on happenings and our actions so that we can continuously improve ourselves. Opportunities and resources are everywhere, and we should take advantage of them.
Ibrahim Abd Rahman, Kuala Lumpur