LETTER: STAY home, wash your hands, and don't touch your face — these are public health officials' advice to curb the spread of Covid-19 that we keep on hearing. We've cancelled mass gatherings, concerts and sporting events; and people are asked to work from home whenever possible.
But as the period of social distancing gets extended, is giving up physical recreational time with family and friends worth the harm to our emotional and social contentment? Not everyone is practising social distancing.
I watched in mild disbelief a few weeks ago as a friend posted a video of a gathering of about 10 people at an eatery. Blowing candles on a birthday cake and sharing of drinks from one glass!
My friend's take on the occasion — "Shouldn't it be considered as a small risk if we're all symptom-free?"
People may become defensive with their action and it can be difficult to hear a friend criticising you during an already stressful time. Many have questioned their friends' actions, strained their friendships or even lost friends, as they aren't taking social distancing seriously.
Another friend received an invitation to go for a run with 12 people. In Ontario, Canada, where they live, running in a big group has been discouraged since March. She reminded her friend of the risks and expressed her discomfort.
"He responded with 'You could simply just say no, you didn't have to give me a lecture," recounted my friend. It's been a week since she last spoke to her friend.
In an interview with Miriam Kirmayer, a Montreal-based psychologist and friendship researcher, she shared how it's common for people to perceive input or feedback from others, including a friend, as criticism, or even an insult, although it's not meant as one.
"When taking on the critics, we don't only hear how we're doing something wrong, but that we're inherently bad," said Kirmayer.
Kirmayer said, "We find ourselves increasingly irritated and frustrated, bored, lonely, and anxious".
"So we then have less patience for those around us. This is evidently the case in romantic relationships.
"We channel our frustrations at the people that we're closest to, because of the level of security and comfort. To some extent, this also coincides in friendships.
"Recognising a friend's opinion can make the conversation less confrontational.
"It helps to validate for our friends why this is hard in those conversations. Not to make it seem like taking social distancing seriously is easy," said Kirmayer.
Social distancing only works best if everyone does it. When you protect yourself, you're protecting others.
And during this time, reciprocity is a core expectation to not only obey safety protocols but also to preserve friendships.
MUTIARA P.S.
KUALA LUMPUR