THE only way to save the world is through fun. No one wants to make a sacrifice to save the planet for our fellow human beings, primarily because we usually find other human beings annoying and not worthy of our effort.
Yes, I know that this is a very cynical view of the world, especially coming from someone who is socially awkward and compensates for the lack of social interaction by lavishing attention on old cars, but we know this to be true.
Tesla Inc is my proof.
Before Tesla, there were other electric cars but they were marketed as something earnest, something good that one should do; they were true virtue signals to make sure people can peg us properly.
These cars were small, hideous and no more useful than golf buggies but with a shorter range to boot. Like virtue, they were to be their own reward.
To this day, we find it difficult to praise someone of real virtue; it is much easier to put celebrities on a pedestal. Much simpler to equate beauty and wealth to perfection and praise that instead of someone who really cares.
Tesla changed all that. It came selling small electric-powered sports cars and made them look like something that beautiful, rich people would drive.
Elon Musk never once complained that the media portrayed him as an egotistical comic book character, even though it was obvious that Iron Man was way richer and more talented than him.
The only problem with Tesla was that it was only affordable for the rich, or at least those making around half a million ringgit a year. So it built the Model 3, which was 70 per cent of Model S but at 30 per cent the price, or something like that.
What we need is a car like the original Honda CRX to save the world, something small, fun and affordable that will help us dirty humans kick dead dino juice off our daily rations.
The Japanese have so many of these cars in their market — Honda has the S660, Daihatsu has the Copen and Suzuki has the Cappuccino.
These tiny cars have small batteries that can give them a 200km range — enough for daily driving — and if someone can make them for under RM50,000, we are laughing all the way to the carbon bank.
We can stuff tonnes of CO2 back into the ground in no time.
Yes, these cars are not really practical because they only have two seats but this is not the end; rather, this is the beginning. This is like the free stuff that drug dealers give out to get new customers, where once you get a feel of the electric fun and how clean and quiet it is, I doubt most of you would go back to the rumbling internal combustion engines as anything other than recreational drug.
To be sure, what I am saying here is that in the future, we must not make internal combustion engines illegal; it must be kept legal as a recreational substance, the way that marijuana is.
That way, we would be less hostile to the idea of the electric car in the same way that we may not want to ever smoke a joint but feel happy that someone, somewhere, can access it should he want to or need it.
I mentioned the CRX specifically because before this car, I never thought of hatchbacks as being fun but after this, the Civic took on a more youthful complexion and it was suddenly seen as a properly fun car.
It’s like smartphones, the first Nokia Communicator came out like leaded petrol was still fresh in our memories but never once did I feel like I wanted one. Having one meant having embraced the despicable corporate culture and was now probably a much-hated middle manager.
Nokia tried to make it sexy with the Banana phone and even put it in the hugely successful Matrix franchise and still, I had no wish for a smart phone.
Do you remember who made it fun for you and why?
Apple Inc is now one of the most valuable companies in the world because of the iPhone. The moment I could watch real movies and play real games on the phone, it was a no brainer and I jumped from a RM250 limit on a phone purchase to RM1,250.
I am now waiting for that electric car that will make me jump. I believe that most of the planet is waiting as well and so, go forth and make us a cheap and affordable fun electric car.
Car companies, you know you can do it, just focus hard.