ONCE, while watching a shampoo commercial on television depicting an obviously airbrushed image of a woman with impossibly shiny, long, straight hair, my 9-year-old daughter jumped up excitedly and declared she wanted to look just like that model.
The message portrayed on screen was simple but powerful: straight, long hair is beautiful and something to be envied, versus perhaps short, wavy or frizzy hair?
Most of the time, the image of a trendy, gorgeous model on screen or on a giant billboard we can't possibly ignore is designed to make us feel less good about ourselves.
Many beauty companies take the approach of making consumers feel inadequate about their looks, implying they have something that needs to be "fixed" in order to look a little bit like that stunner on screen.
As a celebrity who has been widely photographed and whose face is always in the news, British actress, model, radio presenter, writer and activist Jameela Jamil is all too aware of how damaging this can be on young women.
Most beauty companies take the approach of shaming women into thinking they need to buy something to fix what is broken, she says, instead of inspiring women and encouraging self care and love.
CRISIS WITH THE SELF
A global report launched by beauty brand The Body Shop has identified a self-love crisis for women around the world, with one in two women feeling more self-doubt than self love, and 60 per cent wishing they had more respect for themselves.
The Body Shop Global Self Love Index is a first-of-its-kind study. The brand has also launched a global movement called the "Self Love Uprising", supported by Jameela and The Millennial Therapist Sara Kuburic.
Jameela has been a fan of The Body Shop since her teens. She says the brand has always stood against the approach taken by other beauty companies.
"It has always been about how we can show ourselves more love. How can we make our skin softer for us? How can we smell better? How can we take care of ourselves? They believe in true self care."
Beauty, she adds, is subjective and no individual or group of individuals can decide what it is.
DIGITALISED BEAUTY
Unfortunately, we are now seeing standards of beauty set and decided by technology.
People scroll through social media and they see certain characteristics that are deemed beautiful, whether it's a tiny nose, big eyes or an impossibly thin neck.
Many of these images have been digitally altered but they still place pressure on women and girls, making them feel bad about themselves and resulting in women getting unnecessary cosmetic surgery or buying products to correct a flaw they don't have.
"I don't want airbrushing because it makes me feel bad about myself. I need to get used to seeing my pores and wrinkles. Women are not encouraged to find their pores or wrinkles beautiful but they are beautiful because they're a part of women," says Jameela in a virtual interview.
Women are inherently gorgeous in their own special way, she adds, and they should feel better about things like facial lines or a lack of symmetry.
As a person from an ethic minority, she doesn't want her skin lightened or her nose made smaller to appear more "Eurocentric".
It's very damaging and should be discouraged, she explains.
"I want to look like where I'm from and I want to look that way with pride."
As a 12-year-old, she recalls hating her appearance because she wanted to look white. So she understands the importance of girls being taught to value and love who they really are, instead of loathing how they look.
But with so many young girls now taking their cue from celebrities and influencers on social media, this can be a challenge. There is an urgent need to help teenage girls in particular understand that their worth and value transcends these things.
LIST THEM OUT
Jameela says one way to approach this issue is to make a list, every day if you have to, about everything you like about yourself, or what you mean to others or every way you have contributed to society.
Writing them all down makes it settle more in your brain as a belief system, she explains.
Identify your real values, the things that you will remember at the end of your life because identifying, thinking about and celebrating those things will take up space where self-hatred used to lie.
"It's okay for the way you look to be in the top 10 of your priorities, but it cannot take up the entire top 10. So let's start building that space slowly but surely with more meaningful values and priorities."
In Malaysia, The Body Shop's Rise Up with Self-Love Movement is supported by local Leading Lights Nandini Balakrishnan and Natalie Hussain.