IT’S quite common and easy to want to simplify the problems that you face in your life. But it’s easier still to want to pin the blame on one particular thing and demonise it. We tend to want to do this to ourselves, but sometimes we might do it to others too, making them feel like they haven’t done enough to help themselves. We might even end up making them feel worse than they already are, which doesn’t help the situation.
Seriously, how many of us actually spend time with someone to be sensitive enough to ponder over a problem and not make it worse for that person? Sometimes over-simplifying a problem can be the problem.
I hear this often enough, especially when people try to be helpful with their suggestions. Take for example losing weight. The general assumption is that a person is overweight because he or she loves to eat and does so with great abandon. You eat too much? Eat less!
There! What’s so difficult about that, right? If only it were that straightforward, many businesses and clinics would have to shut down.
The other suggestions that usually follow are: control your portion, eat less, curb your appetite, do this or that diet, and so on. And that person often gets chided for not being able to control his eating habits.
There are people I know who’ve tried almost everything over the years and nothing worked. Evidently it’s not as simple as one would think. They need to explore many more avenues and treatments.
It’s the same when someone has a knee problem. The first question might be: Are you going for total knee replacement? There are many types of knee problems and just as many solutions. The permutations of problems and solutions can be quite mind-boggling when you factor in the down time after the procedures for a complete recovery. What works for one may not be so effective for another.
And then you tell that person: maybe it’s because you’re over-doing it, which could be running, jogging, walking, hiking, etc. Or you’re wearing the wrong footwear; or perhaps you didn’t do your warm-ups before exercise and didn’t cool down completely after it? Maybe it’s all the above?
Solutions Galore
Just mention that you have a certain problem to your friends in a group chat and before you know it, there’s all sorts of information and videos, all of which seems to be the perfect solution to your problem, whether it’s obesity, diabetes, cancer, joint aches, just name it! In fact, even your Internet browsing history will suggest them for you.
There are so many materials out there that tell of supposed nature’s cure and optimal diets for longevity, prevention of Alzheimer’s, strengthening bone, killing cancer cells and even a happier life. Some seem probable while others are downright preposterous. But still many people believe it.
I have nothing against trying some of these suggestions, but I’d always caution against following them blindly and ditching what the doctor has prescribed for you. Keep your common sense intact and remember that the solutions to our problems are not always so simplistic.
Accept What Is
It is not always a simple and direct cause-and-effect situation. Most of the time it’s a combination of factors and circumstances. Sometimes it’s just genetics and dumb luck. There isn’t any perfect diet or exercise that can promise you any cure or longevity. Not everything is preventable, no matter what we do. We can only try our best and hope for the best result.
Remember that saying: if it’s too good to be true, then it probably is. Life is quite complicated with no straight answers. We just have to be skeptical of simplistic situations or miracle cures.
There’s more than one right way of doing anything. You just have to navigate, experiment and discover what works for you and your loved one. There are some things we can control to prevent bad outcomes, but not all of the time.
When you or the loved one in your care is going through some health and other challenges, you’d want to be wary of people who are quick to assign blame and over-simplify the problem. They can zap your energy level if you let them.
What you need most is to surround yourself with positive people who can see the total picture and support you while you embark on this journey of healing and care.
It’s really so easy to blame anyone and anything, but sometimes you need to cut yourself some slack. Sometimes things just happen. You have to believe that it does for a reason, whatever it may be. Accept what is. Skip the blame, including to yourself. Instead, find solutions or offer support.