HAVE you ever watched a video on the marshmallow test? It focused on some young children who were offered a marshmallow each. They were told that they could eat the marshmallow right then or, alternatively, wait a few minutes to get more.
Captured by a hidden video camera, we see all sorts of expressions on their faces — funny, curious and sad — as they tried hard to resist the temptation.
Some touched it, some smelt it and there are those who licked it. While most tried hard not to eat it, there were those who just gobbled up the marshmallow.
The marshmallow test, invented by Walter Mischel in the 1960s, has just one rule: if you sit for several minutes without eating the marshmallow, you can eat two marshmallows when the experimenter returns.
Decades later, when Mischel and his colleagues caught up with the subjects from the original studies, they found something astonishing: The children who were better at resisting the treat achieved better results at school as teenagers.
They discovered that the 4-year-olds who had successfully waited for 15 minutes and “passed” the marshmallow test developed the following characteristics:
• better emotional coping skills
• higher rates of educational attainment
• higher SAT scores
• lower BMI
• lower divorce rates
• lower rates of addiction
While there are some variations to the test to differentiate the socioeconomic backgrounds of the children, experts still agree that the marshmallow test is generally a good indication of that positive trait called delayed gratification.
TEACHING DELAYED GRATIFICATION
There’s a Malay proverb that describes a similar situation. Loosely translated, it’s “Endure the pain now, for pleasure later.”
Delayed gratification is a form of discipline and self-control. Success will only go to those who persevere despite all the obstacles.
The late Muhammad Ali once said: “Greatness is not a function of circumstance. Greatness, it turns out, is largely a matter of conscious choice and discipline.”
Unfortunately, it’s getting harder for our children to practice delayed gratification in today’s hurried world.
Everything needs to happen now. Technology enables it with a push of a button or a swipe of a finger. If it’s too slow, children lose interest. Inadvertently, it creates children who are impatient.
Fortunately, delayed gratification can be taught. Fasting is a great way as it teaches patience and control.
Another way is to give our children money to save. Resist the temptation to buy toys immediately. Use smart distractions and be firm. Avoidance can work too.
Whatever method we adopt, all that hard work today will bring great achievements tomorrow.
Zaid Mohamad coaches and trains parents to experience happier homes and more productive work places. Reach him at zaid@smartparents.com.my.