AS I peered into her room, her bags were already packed to the brim with all the necessities. My daughter Azzahra Umairah is going to pursue Diploma in Art and Design at UiTM (Universiti Teknologi Mara) Lendu near Alor Gajah in Melaka.
Graphic art is a discipline and vocation she had always wanted to pursue since she was 15.
Azzahra would be one of the thousands of students enrolling into institutions of higher learning beginning next week. Since the beginning of this month, many universities and colleges across the country have begun their academic year for a fresh new intake of students.
It was a proud moment for many parents to see their 18-year-old children finally make it to institutions of higher learning and enrol into courses they had desired, or given a placement to pursue courses handed to them (based on their results, I guess).
Like many parents, my wife and I were caught in mixed emotions between the joy of seeing our child pursuing tertiary education and the overwhelming anxiety of letting go of our daughter to stay away from home for the first time.
I am sure many parents would share the same sentiment if their children had been staying with them all their lives and never experienced boarding school. The anxiety would be stronger if the parents had been the only one the children had depended on since they were in primary and secondary schools.
And, of course, there would be this lingering melancholic thought that your beloved child’s room in the sweet home would be empty for many moons to come, until he or she comes back for semester break. But, I would take it as part of the sacrifices the family had to endure. And my twin boys would be ecstatic as they could make their sister’s room their fort.
“Ah, stop worrying lah, she’ll adjust herself,” said my wife, who appeared to be calm and much stronger than me. She seemed to have the upper hand as she understood the unanticipated emotions that were ravaging me.
She assured me that Azzahra was a strong-willed, confident person and would adapt to the new environment more quickly than we anticipated. Furthermore, my wife reassured me, Lendu, which was an area in the district of Alor Gajah, Melaka, was just two hours’ drive from Shah Alam. Yeah, right!
I believe I have become a typical doting father whose propensity was to overthink and over-worry about my daughter’s well-being.
Questions like: “Will she be okay away from the family?” or “Will she be eating right in college?” and even “Will she have a good circle of friends?” or “Will she be able to cope with her studies?” were constantly on my mind. Those were needless worries that had me clouded in anxiety.
I believe living away from parents would be harsh to some children. And, parents, too, would be feeling anxious about letting go of their children, especially if it was a girl. One thing for sure, parents need to understand that their children are about to step into a different realm of life — the college life, away from their comfortable and sometimes, taken for granted, cocoon they called home. That’s how I reassured myself, again and again.
Yes, college life. College life would probably be the best, exhilarating time in the bright-eyed young adults’ lives. A coming-of-age phase of their lives, I’m sure. It sent shivers down my spine every time I recalled my own college life. As nostalgic as it was, my college life could sometimes be riotous and unmanageable, but hey, I pulled through.
I’m sure many parents of my age would echo the same sentiment about the good but crazy friends they had, the academic assignments done in the eleventh hour or the practical jokes they pulled on others and even the instant noodles that became their staple food day in, day out.
I love to reminisce on how I managed my college life in the early 1980s in the first few weeks after I registered at Institut Teknologi Mara (now UiTM) in Shah Alam. Well, it went well in the first week, except that the orientation team had given me a crew cut. They obviously didn’t like the swirly Kurt Corbain mop I had on my head as I had always thought students in colleges could keep their hair long. We used to describe guys with scruffy long hair as a gondrong.
Nevertheless, the week went well with all the endless motivational talks and information on varsity rules and regulations; plus the Kesatria military-style ground-stomping and marching on the barren college grounds that ITM made us do every evening.
However, when it came to registering at the Mass Communications school (it’s now called faculty) on Level 13, there was another set of orientation — some considered it ragging and bullying of sorts by the seniors, but the orientation surely left good and fond memories in our hearts and minds.
We went through a hellish orientation week. There were thrills and spills, adrenaline rush and heart-palpitating activities in the form of tasks the seniors made us to. Boys and girls ran helter-skelter for their lives to avoid being picked by seniors.
But these activities were carried out in good faith and sporting spirit.
Finally, there was tepung tawar as part of the closing ceremony for our crazy week, with the seniors throwing packets of flour at us. There was a lot of camaraderie amongst us that day, and until today, the friendship we built with our seniors are still strong. Most of us remained connected as many of us were still slogging in the same industry — the media and communications fraternity.
Once we were back in classes (they are called lectures now), it was back to square one, learning English 101, Literature, World Affairs and Current Affairs, and of course, Communication Theory, something that was new to many of us back then.
Back in our single-storey linked house dormitories in Section 2, Shah Alam, where 10 to 12 of us were crammed together, we shared everything from clothes to food. We knew each other very well that we considered each other as brothers.
Three-and-half years breezed away like it was just three weeks ago. It was so nostalgic. We talk stories and share jokes to this day, especially during reunions, on the incidents or mishaps that occurred 35 years ago, over and over again.
Looking back, we all laughed heartily as best of friends. In college, we found friendship and the meaning of friendship. Some found love and their soulmates as they journeyed through three-and-a-half years of college life. More importantly, they found knowledge and experiences that were priceless.
Nowadays, I believe, orientations are no longer carried out in faculties as in those days. They just get signatures from their seniors as part of the get-to-know sessions.
For me, college life is a facet of life that everyone should experience. Or should I say, must experience. It was a moment in time when the feeling of liberation and being independent came into a perfect perpetual loop. It was one of those enriching phases of life where young adults began to experience and explore the emotional fringes of being an adult.
College life could shape one’s views and opinions about what they began to like and hate.
With the rapid changing of digital landscape these days, I am sure these young adults would mature into knowledgeable adults in no time at all.
For my beloved daughter, Azzahra, and thousands of sons and daughters who would start their tertiary education, this is my advice: Enjoy your college life! Not only because it’s a quest for knowledge, but also because it’s important for you to embrace the exhilarating life as a student. There will be times when you cannot finish your written assignments or when your teammates wouldn’t contribute much to group projects, but these are just challenges.
Treat challenges as an opportunity to grow and not as a hindering object. Don’t climb the wall of obstacles (if you can’t), go around it.
If you can’t think outside the box, discard the box, and put the universe as your thinking cap, instead. Use whatever opportunities available in your college as a playing field to achieve your goals. Get involved in extra-curricular activities as much as you can, but focus on what you want to be. In short, enjoy immensely your college life.
C’est la vie.