I RECEIVE regular feedback for my articles. A reader by the name of Azhary Azman, a 24-year-old financial analyst, recently referred to my article (June 1) about how the young were spending like the rich.
He wrote that article made him think about his own spending and how it related closely to his parents’. “I am thankful to them as they had taught me the value of money from young,” he wrote.
What caught his attention, he added, was my “mature analysis of the situation” because I didn’t pin the blame on young people themselves. Instead, I had suggested that their parents were also to blame for not instilling good financial habits.
This, according to Azhary, was quite the opposite of what he had observed. “Society judges (young) people and condemns us without any critical thinking, forgetting that “Gen-Y are a product of Baby Boomers.”
He was upset that the older generation had a tendency to condemn, criticise and demoralise the younger ones.
I couldn’t agree more. I have three children who are Gen-Y and who echo similar sentiments.
My daughter told me of a teacher who often talked down to them. In contrast, there is another who engages the students. No prizes for guessing which teacher is her favourite.
Another daughter shared a story about a motivational speaker who failed miserably to motivate the students. All he did was talk about his successes and how the students should follow in his footsteps with clinical precision. Not surprisingly, he got a very poor rating.
Someone recently asked me what was the one thing that would help build a solid relationship with younger family members. I thought hard and the word “respect” came to mind. I have also personally conducted a number of motivational sessions for teenagers and received very encouraging feedback. As I look back, I am confident that respect has a lot to do with the positive responses. I remind myself that the young audience is made up of those with aspirations, ambitions, feelings as well as challenges. I was a teenager once and I hated being talked down to.
This strategy seems to work with the audience as well as my own children. Our relationship is good and they regularly consult me on various matters. There’s nothing more satisfying than when your teenage kids come to you for advice and guidance. If we don’t make an effort and treat them with respect, there is a very big and real chance that they will go elsewhere for advice. After all, the world is literally at their fingertips. They just have to point and click for access to millions of bytes of information competing for their attention.
The voice of the young cannot be ignored. There is a way to get to their hearts in a much effective and positive way than exerting our “superiority” over them. Yes, we can share our experiences with them. In fact, we should share our sweet and painful moments with them at appropriate moments. But we must do so in a respectful manner. Preaching, being narrow minded or worse, looking down on them will not make them open their hearts to us. Instead, we should open our hearts and ears to young people like Azhary and our own children before making any conclusion or judgement.