When the tall and handsome bridegroom, decked in a perfectly-tailored suit with a matching tie, gave his bride a peck on her radiant cheek, the grand hall erupted into spontaneous applause.
It was a glorious evening when they entered into a nuptial agreement, bound by love till death do they part, or so they may rightfully wish. It was an evening of what dreams are made of, quite like the moment when Cinderella slips her foot into the glass slipper to see if it fits.
I have attended several weddings during the now-ending holiday period. While others may not be as grand as the one I described, they were nevertheless celebrated as special moments to be remembered forever.
Besides their parents, who were pretty much occupied with receiving the hundreds of guests for those momentous occasions, the wedding photographers were equally as busy in prompting the bride and groom towards getting the shots that will capture every bit of the moment.
Indeed, a wedding is a special day to be cherished and there is nothing wrong with making sure the day is a special one that will be remembered by all. Even in the remote kampung, and for as long as I can remember, the folks spare no effort in making it such.
When I was a child, the atmosphere of festivity starts as early as a month before the big day, where the village people gather in the spirit of gotong royong to first gather firewood and put up tents where the feast would be held. As the big day approaches, the women would come to start preparing ingredients for the grand feast. The momentous day itself is celebrated in full Malay tradition and is colourful and merry.
While the times — as do much of the old ways of organising weddings — have changed, the atmosphere itself has remained the same. Guests come from all over, and today’s weddings are also often an opportunity for renewal of long-lost friendships. Those I attended in recent days were the same, all joyous occasions.
But, as I watched every one of these weddings, I could not help but hope that all the newlyweds were also prepared for the road ahead after their marriage. In real life, marriages are often not scripted as they are in love stories on television, the movies or in fairy tales.
For one thing, a marriage does not survive only on soothing whispers of “I love you”, air, sunshine and water. Much more than that, it is a long-term commitment that requires constant nurturing, planning, a lot of patience, responsibility and understanding.
Raising a family, which is what all marriages invariably come down to, has become a very expensive endeavour nowadays. I hope the newlyweds were well aware of the fact and of the need for them to build a solid financial foundation as they proceed through their unions of marriage.
A marriage is almost always very different from the days of courtship, where often none of the two could do any wrong. Perhaps, blinded by love, they are often willing to go to great lengths to prove their affection for one another and often sideline the reality of life itself.
It is quite like that famous Shakespeare line from his 1592 masterpiece, Romeo and Juliet.
“O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Capulet,” where Juliet, who was of the Capulet family, was asking why Romeo was from a Montague clan, making their love an impossible one.
She asks him to change his allegiance, or else she will change hers in the name of her true love for him.
Such was the strength of Juliet’s love for Romeo as told by Shakespeare, although the reality is very different today, for a differing allegiance is not necessarily the sole challenge to a happy marriage.
Instead, in reality, challenges come in various other forms. There are bills to be paid, and there will always be bills to be paid; and it would seem that the people who would matter the most are those from the banks, the utilities and, perhaps, the credit card companies.
I hope the newlyweds are aware of today’s reality of life and that they are prepared, especially financially, to navigate through their new phase of life. But, it does not mean they should shun marriage; for, with careful planning and constant adhering to the discipline of living within their means, there is no reason why they will not have a successful and happy union, and like in all fairy tales, live happily ever after.
The writer is NST group editor