Dear parents (of Year One pupils),
So, how was the first week of school? It must have been quite a week. You must have plenty to tell your friends and colleagues about your day in school.
Most of us went through this experience at some point in our lives. Some of you may have memorable stories about your first day in school, too.
Did any of you cry on your first day of school? I did. But I’m sure most of you who sent your sons or daughters last week didn’t cry because you had the benefit of attending preschool for one or two years.
My first day in school was in the late 1950s, and there were no preschools or kindergartens then. I, therefore, cried my heart out and had to be taken home. I only returned to school after one week!
Did your child cry when you sent him to Year One? Or maybe you did? I have seen mums shedding tears as their child walk through the school gate on the first day!
If you had browsed Facebook in the last few days, you would have seen parents posting pictures of their children at school. Hilarious, indeed!
There was one picture of a female pupil attending school proudly displaying her pacifier — it’s as if she’s telling the whole world to mind their own business as she goes on with hers!
Parents, let me share with you some advice given to parents over the years. These are tips from parents whose children have become successful individuals. They know what parenting is all about.
They refused to be named, saying that they have done nothing extraordinary. Actually, they are just being humble, a trait that is worth emulating.
Parent A said: “I pushed my son very hard during the first few years in school. He did well. But one day, he came back from school looking very unhappy.
“I asked him why. He told me he no longer enjoyed school. Just Year Four and he said he didn’t enjoy school. I was about to take him to task when my maid stopped me.
“She told me my son always came back from school complaining.
He didn’t have many friends because he was busy reading and memorising.
“He did not play games nor show an interest in anything else. I then realised that I had robbed my son of a part of his childhood. I had wanted him to do well in his studies, but I had neglected his other needs — friends, games and having fun.
“But I was lucky. I changed tactics. I bought him a pair of football boots and a ping pong table in the house. Just play, I said. Today, he’s done very well as an oil and gas engineer and he plays rugby.”
Parent B said: “I made ridiculous demands on my daughter from Year One. It didn’t work. She became a rebel. She stayed up late and sometimes refused to go to school.
“I was called by her teacher one day and we sat down talking about my daughter. It turned out that my daughter was too playful in class and played pranks on others.
“That conversation with the teacher changed me. I began sending her to school, picking her up, and going to malls to buy storybooks and asking her friends to my house for sleepovers.
“She began to take an interest in her studies and even took up music lessons. Today, she’s in a foreign university and I hope she graduates with good grades and be an all-rounder.”
So, there you have it, parents!
If you want to see your children do well in school, please don’t add to the pressure they are facing every day. We all want our children to do well and get good grades.
But don’t take their childhood away. On the flipside, there are children who have to earn their upkeep from a young age to help their parents make ends meet.
These children mature early and learn to cope with life’s knocks. Their childhood is robbed, too, in a way, but they start on life’s learning curve early and tend to survive very well.
Let your children make a few mistakes of their own; guide them, motivate them. Don’t stifle their creativity by putting fear into them.
Twitter: @aatpahitmanis
The writer is chairman of Yayasan Salam Malaysia