A YOUNG teen chats with a cute guy via social media, finds out he has similar interests in music and movies and they get on like a house on fire. She is excited about the possibility of romance and meeting up with him for a date. Little does she know that he is actually a groomer, essentially a predator who uses social media sites and teen dating apps to connect with his naive young victims. Welcome to the perils of online dating.
Besides using the Internet and smartphones for information, playing games and connecting with family and friends, children and teenagers like making new friends through social networks, which many regard as harmless.
Unknown to them, while social networks are a handy way to keep them connected to the people they know, they can also open doorways to people who are abusive or dangerous.
“Teens and young children usually divulge a lot of information about their personal lives and interests in their online profiles, and predators can easily use the information they have provided to forge friendships and relationships,” says Dr Anasuya Jegathevi Jegathesan, senior lecturer and academic head of the Master’s in Counselling Programme at HELP University Malaysia.
The modus operandi of these groomers is to pretend to be teenagers or children themselves and to cast a wide net by sending messages out to several youngsters, while waiting to see who takes the bait.
Besides vulnerability to grooming, children can also be vulnerable to bullying and being stalked as a result of over-sharing personal information, information which should have remained private.
“The Internet and smartphone apps have effectively made it easier for predators and bullies to stalk people. We have a vast array of things to track, record and photograph people on handheld devices. If your child is under 14 and has a bedtime, their phones shouldn’t be in their bedrooms with them, because they definitely will not be sleeping,” says Anasuya.
“Smartphones have cameras and offer access to the outside world. It is not safe for them to have smartphones in their bedrooms, especially it they are being bullied or stalked at school.
“Prior to ownership of personal phones, the stalking stopped in school and the home represented a safe haven free from harassment. But this has changed with smartphones. If they are being stalked on Facebook and WhatsApp, then it follows them home.”
Anusaya says it is imperative that parents remind their children to keep personal information private and to be vigilant of the privacy settings on online accounts and social networking sites they are active in.
“Ensure that they have set up safe profiles so that they have control over who they grant access to information they have posted online.”
Another point to be aware of is that while parents may like their children to have location finders on their phones so that they are able to keep tabs on them, the same freeware location finders can also tell strangers where their children are.
“If you want your child’s phone to be equipped with a location finder, pay for a more expensive location finder app that has the level of protection that you want,” Anasuya says.
Besides this, she says it would be prudent to check that your home address, contact numbers and other information that you don’t want to be seen are not shared publicly.
“Every now and then, Google your family’s names to check that your home address and other information you don’t want to be seen do not pop up on the Internet.” By Suzanna Pillay