THERE have been studies conducted which have revealed that there was a time, from the Stone Age up until the end of the Bronze Age, where womenfolk were held in high esteem in many communities due to their reproductive capabilities. The society was a matriarchal one where giving birth was considered a dangerous process for both mother and child. Also, the “power” to give life was likened to being in good standing with the Gods and thus females were regarded as being blessed.
How times have changed. Just thinking about the march for women’s rights which took place recently and which united women from all over the world for a united cause make it evident that change is inevitable.
Throughout history, with their quest for power, fame and recognition, men have been regarded as the dominant species. Women meanwhile have found themselves pressured or even forced into subordination. It’s a natural force in the world, like yin and yang, light and darkness — duality exists in all things and matters. So in our collective consciousness and belief system, we begin to adopt the idea that the male is the dominant species.
A typical dominant male will be the head of the household, the breadwinner, the one who gets to make decisions and carry the burden of the family. Meanwhile, the typical female’s belief system would entail being the subservient wife, homemaker, and mother, as well as someone who stays at home and serves the family.
Although much of this belief system has changed throughout the years, what remains ingrained is still the emotional need to dominate and serve, or the energy of superiority over the energy of inferiority. This superiority and inferiority complex has created much ripple effect in our society and crafted much of our personalities.
Day in, day out, there are individuals fighting to boost their self-esteem by cultivating a false sense of heightened ego, so that they can feel superior to another. On the flip side, the deflated ego on an inferior soul stresses to stay conformed because they don’t think they are ever good enough to be anything more.
This subconscious conformity to the norm has to shift if we really want to see big changes in the world. And everyone has a part to play.
Start by noticing the times in your life when you actually feel small when in fact, you should be feeling proud and great. Notice when you start comparing yourself to another person and if you tend to put yourself down or succumb to jealousy.
Pay close attention to the times when you make someone feel inferior to you just because you feel insecure, or how you are limited by your mate or even yourself in ways you do not realise by virtue of your gender. Here are some pointers to start shifting your mindset.
PRACTISE MAKES PROGRESS
1. Recognise true equality
When you realise that you are not inferior to anyone and that you are not subjected to a higher power other than yourself, you will feel liberated and free within. This will affect how you treat yourself as well as how you treat others. When you choose not to be better or lesser than anyone, then you can just be yourself.
You can treat yourself kindly, do as you would and treat everyone as your equal. True equality can happen when we all move pass gender roles and just see the person as he or she is.
2. Be confident in your own skin
You do not have to be bossing someone around to feel empowered. Feeling confident or good about yourself comes from a deep sense of self-sufficiency. This can be created through understanding, self-awareness, love and wisdom. When you are comfortable being exactly who you are, you need not feel bad for yourself or feel a need to be better than someone else. All you need to do is just take care of yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings. This can be so liberating.
3. We are on the same team!
As a result of the Men Vs Women mentality, relationships suffer. Some couples that come to see me do not even understand what they are fighting for. They have an innate desire to win over the other person and they don’t even realise that they are, in actual fact, on the same team.
So start with your own relationships — stop fighting to win, instead, try to respect each other’s decisions, communicate your needs, talk things through and come to a mutually beneficial agreement for change. You will then start to see greater harmony in your household. Start sharing in your own way to create a different world for others that you are in contact with. This will trigger a new ripple effect that we all have been wanting to experience.
Jaime Shine empowers individuals on their road to wellbeing and transformation through understanding emotional health and relationship dynamics. Contact her at jaime@heartworks.my