KUALA LUMPUR: While Tan Sri Rafidah Aziz is well-known for her vast experience as a politician and minister, not much is mentioned about her family, including her three children and five grandchildren.
Even during an interview with the New Straits Times recently, Rafidah did not freely mention her children’s positions — they graduated in accounting (son) and law (two daughters) — as she believed that each one of her family members, including her, was his or her own person.
Their capabilities in their respective professions and ability to achieve success were their own, without having to “affiliate” with her or her late husband, Tan Sri Mohamed Basir Ahmad.
Rafidah, 76, however, was willing to share stories of their upbringing, stressing that she was not one to mollycoddle her children.
Being the children of a minister (Rafidah was the longest serving international trade and industry minister from 1987 to 2008) and a prominent banking figure, one would be forgiven for thinking that they had their life paths laid out for them.
“Not at all. They make their own decisions and must work hard to achieve their goals. They understood early in life that one must rise based on merit, not through connection or by sweet-talking others.
“My late husband and I raised them by nurturing them with discipline. They knew better than to misbehave, especially in people’s houses or public places.
“However, being strict doesn’t mean we wouldn’t listen to their problems. We do give advice or solutions for them to consider.
“When my son, Alfian, was studying here (Universiti Malaya), he had a long-distance relationship with a girl in London, whom he would later marry.
“We bought him a boat, which he used to go on fishing trips with his friends on weekends.
“When my children did a good job, we would praise them and give encouraging words for them to ‘keep up the good work’,” she told the New Straits Times at her home in Bukit Damansara.
She said it was imperative for parents to keenly observe their children.
“At an airport, I once saw a mother moving a trolley, where she placed her toddler son, back and forth. The boy, who was playing games on a mobile phone, would throw a tantrum whenever she did that, and the mother only made it worse when she moved the trolley more vigorously.
“He only stopped the outburst and directed his attention back to the phone when she stopped moving the trolley.
“You have to observe and think before doing something,” said the Perak-born.
She said apart from the attitude of the parents, the environment in which children grew up also played an important role in their development.
“We purposely chose a location that is away from the busy main road. Drivers don’t pass by here as it is a cul-de-sac, so it is safe from traffic should the children wish to play outside,” she said, adding that despite her work responsibilities, her family always came first.
These days, Rafidah said she kept in touch with her children through Whatsapp.
“One of them still stays with me, while the other two live with their own families. Despite our hectic schedule, we make it a point to meet up for a meal once a week.
“I wouldn’t say that I have a favourite place or restaurant, but I like having a chat over a meal in Bangsar as the environment is quite laidback,” she said, adding that she would sometimes have her friends over for catch-up sessions.
Not one to look at things through rose-tinted glasses, Rafidah attributed her attitude and view of life to her mother.
“She was the gentler one, but always spoke her mind. Once, she was watching a parliamentary session, at that time she was already 80. She asked me, ‘Dah (as her mother called her), what is that person babbling about? It doesn’t make any sense’.
“I took after her and picked up a lot of things watching her as I was growing up.”