KUALA LUMPUR: A year ago, actress and singer Kilafairy celebrated the arrival of Aidilfitri in the hospital as she accompanied her mother, Rohana Jalil, who was being treated in the intensive care unit at Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia's Chancellor Tuanku Muhriz Hospital
Rohana, whose real name is Dara Abdul Jalil, 68, breathed her last on June 20 last year at the same hospital.
This year, Kilafairy's feelings towards Ramadan and AidilFitri are different and she did not shy away from expressing the emptiness she feels.
"I haven't even bought any new clothes for Aidilfitri. There's no Aidilfitri for me this year. Instead, I will celebrate Aidilfitri with my mum at her grave. Just as my mum once advised me, accept all that has been fated, and God willing, everything will be okay.
"My focus now is on those who are still here, namely my dad, siblings, cousins, and others. My religious teacher said, Mama would be happy if we make those she loved happy.
"So, to not feel too sad, I make sure to do charitable deeds from time to time for mum every day of my life as long as I'm alive," she said.
She lived with her mother for 31 years, and it's difficult for her to forget every moment that they shared.
"It's just too much to think about because there are so many memories. I miss my mum's cooking. Oh God, how I miss her cheerfulness.
"Mum was like the 'sunshine' in our lives. Always cheerful every day and brightening up our lives. Now, the sunshine has gone. I will never be the same person as I was before," she said.
Reflecting on the first day of Ramadan, Kilafairy, whose real name is Syakila Nisha Jahangir Khan, said that she was abroad at that time.
"I broke my fast on the first day at KLIA (Kuala Lumpur International Airport). I didn't get a chance to break fast with my other siblings at our mum's house on the first day of fasting.
"So far, I haven't had the chance to break the fast with them. We did plan to break fast together.
"Maybe my siblings from Johor will come to Kuala Lumpur next week to be with us for our mother's birthday which is this month. We will ask them to cook the dishes that mum used to cook," she said.