PARENTS should always be on alert for any alarming signs and behaviours that may indicate that their children are being bullied. The Ministry of Health has highlighted that bullies are prone to feeling stressed, lonely and anxious. They may also experience various health problems such as migraines, stomach aches, fatigue, and lack of appetite.
They also show poor performance, are always absent and have a general dislike of school. More severe signs include suicidal thoughts, tendencies and attempts. Studies also show that whoever is involved with bullying — whether it’s the bully or the victim — face a higher risk of being diagnosed with depression, in addition to other psychological impact.
For students, there are some steps which can be taken to avoid being bullied, for example, improving one’s confidence and capabilities. Parents should help unearth their child’s hidden talents in areas such as sports and music. Showcase those talents as strengths as this would discourage a bully. Bullies tend to prey on weak and submissive individuals.
Impart to your children these important messages: Do not let yourself be bullied; fight back in a safe way and report to a trusted authority. Avoid being alone and try to be in a large group of people. It may be difficult but also try to hide any pain or suffering you may be facing from the bullies as it only serves to give them satisfaction, and in turn, encourage them to continue.
Ignore the bullying attempts by not giving them the reaction they’re looking for. Never blame yourself for being bullied. It’s not your fault. Always be in a positive environment and do not take others’ teasing and mockery to heart.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
There are also tips on what to do if one is bullied in school. Seek assistance from peers or teachers. Report to the relevant authorities if it’s a serious case. This can be done through parents or teachers.
Open up and be honest with parents and family members so you don’t have to fight the battle alone. Improve your self-confidence to make yourself untouchable. Surround yourself with supportive and protective friends. By being active in co-curriculum, you’ll be able to meet new friends with similar interests and, in turn, build strong healthy bonds.
At the same, society also has an important role in protecting children and teenagers from being bully victims. To begin with, don’t be ignorant and brush off any violence witnessed. Stop a bully and provide assistance to the victim. Running a campaign about bullying at school and the neighbourhood is also an effective platform to raise awareness.
In the neighbourhood, identifying “hot spots” where bullying frequently occurs is key so that surveillance can be increased in those areas. You can also become a volunteer, lending an ear and providing support to potential or actual bully victims so that their faith in humanity can be restored. If all else fails, make a report to the police.
Lastly, always find ways to stop bullying. Avoid being an “audience” of bullying as it only encourages this behaviour further. Never laugh at a person being bullied because it gives the bully satisfaction.
Remove yourself from any bullying incident and seek assistance from a higher authority immediately. Don’t be peer-pressured into any violent acts.
Stay away from gossips, avoid spreading them, and don’t misuse the Internet as a means to attack people. Most importantly, know your self-worth and strengths. Very soon, you’ll be “invisible” to the bullies.
Zaid Mohamad coaches and trains parents to experience happier homes and more productive workplaces. Reach him at zaidi@smartparents.com.my