"MISS Wong, toilet!" My classmate pleaded shyly with our form teacher in class one day. "No, boy, what toilet? No!" came her stern reply. Dejected, he returned to his seat quietly. Then another voice piped up: "Miss Wong, go toilet!" And again that harsh reply: "What? No, I don't want to go to the toilet!"
Humiliated, he crawled back to his seat. Yet, another boy asked with desperation: "Miss Wong, toilet… toilet, please!" Half way through, he couldn't hold it any longer and started urinating in his pants.
Ahhhh, the memories. I remember our form teacher was very strict and expected all of us to ask permission in proper English. As it was the first time in our life learning English, many of us simply didn't know how to ask properly.
Our nervousness on our first day of school was made worse by Miss Wong. Out of fear and desperation, some of my classmates just urinated in class. One chubby boy, Johnny, did so quite frequently throughout the year. Whenever he did, his urine would flow to all corners of our classroom. We would then cross our legs in our seat.
In good humour, some of us would use one hand to hold our nose and another to pray, as if praying to Buddha. However, Miss Wong frowned severely at our antics. She was a strict Christian and ACS primary school in Kampar was a Methodist missionary school.
Sometimes, in one single day, there'd be several classmates who either urinated or even defecated in class. As the class monitor, I was asked to bring take them to the toilet and help them clean their pants too. It was a most unenviable task. On some days, I spent more time in the toilet than in class. My hands would stink the whole day, even after washing.
With 40 of us, you can imagine how noisy our class would get sometimes. Miss Wong would punish some of the more talkative boys, but not the girls, by making them squat and pull their ears.
Instead of talking, I'd day-dream in class. Nevertheless, I was punished too. To prevent us from talking, Miss Wong made each boy sit with a girl. This kept us quiet at least for the first few weeks. Some boys were so shy and dared not look at girls. By contrast, some of the girls in our class seemed more confident. In adulthood, the situation would be strangely reversed.
Our classroom was big and spacious. However, our tables and chairs were small and low. Somehow, this made our ceiling look higher and blackboard, bigger. Whenever teachers stood in front of us, we had to look up and they seemed much bigger and taller. This optical illusion worked wonders for teachers as we were cowed by our fear of them. However, occasionally, when we looked up at our teachers, we'd see something unflattering.
MR MORGAN, THE "DRAGON"
I recall catching sight of the long nasal hair growing out of the large nostrils of Mr Morganathan, our Science teacher. Every time he talked excitedly, his nasal hairs would move in tandem with his breathing. It looked as if he was breathing fire. So, we gave him the nickname, Mr Morgan the Dragon.
One day, half way through our Science lesson, a giant moth came from the nearby jungle and landed on the teacher's desk. Coincidentally, Mr "Dragon" Morgan was teaching us about insects.
He tried to catch the moth to show us. However, the moth seemed to know what was on his mind. It flew away while flapping its large pair of wings. This got Mr "Dragon" Morgan very excited as he gave chase around the classroom. It was a most memorable scene as the Dragon was chasing the moth around.
Mr Morgan, the Dragon, was heaving and panting away, his protruding nasal hairs making him look like he was on fire. All of us tried hard to help Mr Morgan catch the moth, with some of us climbing on chairs to do so.
Alas! The moth proved to be too elusive and evasive. We were no match for it. The moth won for the day. It flew out of our classroom, only to return and torment us for another game and on another day.
There was also a time when we saw the armpit hair of our form teacher when she lifted her arm in class. Miss Wong had a big black mole under her armpit! Nobody dared to talk about her secret. We were allowed to ogle silently but not giggle loudly.
Another teacher, Miss Poh, had a big mole on her cheek. According to Chinese belief, it represented vanity. So, we called her How Poh Mat which meant vain pot.
Although we might be small, we had a knack for giving nicknames to our teachers.
Our music class was the most enjoyable. Our music teacher, Miss Tan, was a good pianist and singer. She taught us to sing some Christmas carols and children songs.
Miss Tan would play the piano and sing without looking at any score. I always marvelled at her sense of vision and energy.
I wondered how she could spot the talkative boys at the back of class while she was busy playing the piano and singing at the same time. Although she appeared strict, we knew there was love in her heart.
Many of us could neither read nor understand the lyrics properly. We were out of tune and out of depth too. Nevertheless, Miss Tan was very patient and encouraging. I enjoyed her music and singing.
When Miss Tan struck some keys, the music went straight to our hearts. Some of my rich classmates had a piano and attended private lessons at home. For me, it was only a dream. My parents could hardly afford my school fees, let alone piano lessons.
CATCHING FIGHTING FISH AND SPIDERS
For some of us, the world outside the stuffy walls of our classroom was definitely more exciting and alluring. After school, we'd run to the jungle behind ACS to catch fighting fish and spiders. There was a clear running stream and small waterfall for us to chill out.
We also caught some freshwater crabs and shrimps. Our textbook told us that such animals were found only in the sea. You might say we were experimenting with curriculum enrichment and discovery learning.
I loved marvelling at the magnificent colour and splendour of the fighting fish. I even tried breeding some of them at home. Some fighting fish practise oral incubation by holding the eggs in their mouth until they hatch. It's an inspiring lesson in fatherly care and sacrifice. However, fighting fish are ferocious in the presence of another male. I could never allow my fish to fight as I found it to be too cruel.
Another common hobby was catching fighting spiders in the nearby jungle. Spider fights were quick and would be mostly over in a few seconds without any serious injury. We would keep them in King Kong or Superman matchboxes.
I once caught a champion from a wild mango tree and kept it in my Superman box. My "Spiderman" was a strong and handsome bluish-green spider. During a winning streak, I won quite a few Milos from my friends.
After his victory, I'd reward my "Spiderman" with some mosquitoes I killed while they were biting me. Perhaps, it was my blood that made him strong. However, one day, my "Spiderman" escaped from his box and landed on the hand of the girl sitting next to me.
Instantly, she let out a loud scream. Immediately, all the girls in class started screaming too. There was near pandemonium in class. I was duly scolded for causing the commotion. It was a sad day for me as I lost both my "Spiderman" and free Milos.
WEARING "HOLY" SHIRTS AND PANTS
My mother would give us 10 sen as our daily pocket money for our recess — five sen for Milo and five sen for our nasi lemak or noodle. There would be a few pieces of ikan bilis but don't expect any drumstick or chicken wing. Anyway, I usually spent more time playing than eating during recess.
I was always having to wear big and loose shirts, pants and shoes. As a frugal woman, my mother would buy them at one or two sizes bigger for us. This way, we could wear them for years. They also helped us to keep cool in the hot weather.
However, during PE lessons, my shoes would often come off. I didn't mind wearing loose and big shirts or shoes. What embarrassed me most were my loose pants. My parents couldn't afford to buy me a belt so my mother would use a safety pin to make my pants tighter.
Undoing the safety pin was a real chore whenever I went to toilet. Once, in my hurry to answer nature's call, I accidentally poked myself. Luckily, it was a small prick at my waist and not somewhere else.
Once, my safety pin broke while I was jumping during PE class. There was a loud snapping sound and some of my classmates heard it. Immediately, they started laughing when they saw my pants dropping. Luckily, I managed to pull my pants up before it dropped any lower.
Strangely and coincidentally, Miss Wong asked me to clean the blackboard during her class on that day. The board was very high. I had to jump with one hand holding the duster and the other holding on to my falling pants. All my classmates were laughing at me and I recall Wong smiling too. Perhaps, this was her way of getting some cheap entertainment.
As active boys, my brother and I liked to climb and run around. Very often, our shirts and pants would be torn with big holes under our armpits or groin area. My mother would use her old Singer machine to patch up the holes for us. We were lucky that these patches were not noticeable as they were hidden from sight.
Mother was good at making shirts and dresses. However, due to her cataract, she had difficulty threading the needle. Whenever mother asked us for help, we'd challenge each other to see who could do it first. Without fail, my brother, Wai always won. His special psycho-motor skills helped him to realise his childhood dream to become a fighter pilot later in life.
Looking back, I remember more about our extracurricular activities outside the classroom than the lessons in them. It's part of the constructive curriculum as we explore and experiment in our lives. These golden childhood memories are special. As I'm now in my autumn years, they remind me of the wonderful spring season in my life.
Gary Lit Ying Loong, a retired academic from Nanyang Technological University (NTU) Singapore is presently a visiting professor to some universities in Asia and Europe. Reach him at garylit33@gmail.com.